No super-girl here…
(the grand-princess escaping another photo session)
I had to do it-tell you about the monster that haunted my dreams last night. It all started around mid-night as I was getting ready for bed. I was standing in the master bath ready to pull on my pj’s when I saw it. The most hideous monster ever sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor!
Well of course I screamed and then jumped up on the tub ledge. I called to Mr. Java (yeah there’s a Mr. Java I’ve kept him secret and just for me- I’m selfish and don’t share very well) to come to my rescue and even though it was after twelve and Mr. Java had been sleeping for a bout 30 minutes or so but he managed to stagger out of bed and throw a shoe at this grotesque thing. He hates to kill anything but he knew that if he didn’t we, or at least I, would be up all night, with the lights on, looking for the beast. He knew this because I pretty much screamed it throughout the bedroom, “you got one shot- so kill it or else we’re gonna be up all night or at least until he’s dead!”
Yeah, I was quite the authority figure cowering naked on the edge of the tub. No super-girl here! Well, he threw his big shoe and thank god he used to be a baseball player because he hit the bulls eye and yes the wicked wench was dead. You should have seen the thing, so hideous I’m not sure I can describe it. The beast was big really big about the size of the palm of my hand and pale or ghostly white. It looked like something that is an albino and only comes out after darkness. It had fangs, now I couldn’t see the fangs from my hiding place in the bathroom but I know they were there ;) I was going to do the google thing and look for gortesque pictures of this monster but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
What was left under Mr. Java’s big shoe was a squishy, gooie mess. This thing was full of juicy guts , he was probably flesh eating. After the ritual or more like brutal killing Mr. Java walked past me to flush the remains and I swear I saw the Shadow of something else creepy out of the corner of my eye so I jumped on his back. Well, as I said he was a little tired after I woke him, with all the screaming and shouting out orders, so he kind of lost his balance and there we were lying in a naked heap on the floor. Yes, he did manage a few words that I can’t mention here but I don’t think it fazed him much because by now he is quite used to my hysterics and usually just ignores most of my drama.
I know what you’re thinking, poor Mr. Java, how does he take all the drama of a girl who screams in the night at a spider/beast, then tackles him to the floor because she’s afraid of the darkness and oh yeah, and she sometimes springs out of bed to photograph the twinkling lights in the garden but worst of all, she spends all his money on her latest crazy dream/project. Oh did I mention that I’m not a very good cook, either? I never said I was perfect. I have my good points- I just can’t think of them right now.
I’ll say it again, “no super-girl here.”
Sorry for the run-on and very incorrect sentenses but I just love the fact that there are no rules here and I can say it however I want to. I think Katharine Hepburn said it best with this quote: “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”
- Katharine Hepburn
I love that!
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