A very ordinary girl now middle-aged woman who thinks extraordinary thoughts in no particuliar order
A very ordinary girl now middle-aged woman who thinks extraordinary thoughts in no particular order. I’m thinking this may become a new feature on my blog. Perhaps I’ll touch on it once a week or twice a month or maybe even every other post. I can’t be pinned down right now or get caught up in the details, I have too much to say. I may start at the beginning, at the end or maybe even in the middle because I do things like that
I thought my life was going to turn out differently, after all I have a destiny, a mission, a niche, but I haven’t found it just yet. I know it’s out there, lurking in the shadows just waiting for the right moment to happen.
I couldn’t wait to grow up and find my purpose, that niche, my something but I had to get married to my high school sweet-heart, have kids and purchase my first house before I could pursue my dreams. Those things were too important to let get away and they had to get done before I was too set in my ways to get married, too old to have kids and before I had spent most of my adult life in a rented apartment.
While raising kids I knew that my something was out there but I was too busy, too fulfilled and way too brain-dead to go looking for it. It would have to wait and wait and wait.
How long should one wait? Should I start looking? Actually I think I’ve been looking all along but no niche. I’ve always thought that when I was ready it would just happen. All I had to do was wish for it and the answer would become, loud and clear, a flash of light, an epiphany, happiness.
I use to dream of a life in the big city. This life included my loving family, the perfect house, a little fame and a lot of money. All made possible by my thriving career. I had my whole life ahead of me and plenty of time to achieve everything I’d hoped for. It was going to happen. I could feel it. I just had to get through the next few years of raising my family before it could happen. I raised my family and now when I look back I know that those were the most fulfilling years of my life. Perhaps thats why I put off the dream, my wish.
As the years passed my dreams and wishes got a lot smaller and a little closer to home.
I once wished for a beautiful white cat to fill my house with cozy charm, to make it feel homey and full. I envisioned her sitting in the front window when I arrived home in the evening, waiting for my company.
I wished and a couple of months later he showed up. He was different from what I envisioned, his fur was short with tan patches and he was absent a tail. I welcomed him into my home anyway but he didn’t like the indoors. he preferred the porch to my cozy office. So now when I arrive home I find him waiting not on my window sil but waiting all the same. By the way he brought friends-I feed them too.
I wished for more children and I got a grandchild. Grandchildren are God’s greatest work and I never tire of their company. I’m not your typical grandma. I don’t bake. I can barely cook and I wear jeans with holes in the knees.
A few years ago I wished for more time with my family and something happened at work that made it justified for me to quit. I never looked back because I was sure this was a sign and my special talents were about to emerge. That was two and a half years ago. I’ve tried on a few hats since then but nothing fits. Someone once said, ”I think you just don’t like to work” not true. I just want to feel passionate about what I’m doing, be good at it and make a living while doing it.
Not all my wishes come true. I’ve wished for something I enjoyed, loved, something I was really good at. It had to be a career where I could make a living while doing it. Something all my own. Nothing happened. I’m afraid it may take a little work on my part to find it, patience and focus, things I’m not very good at. I have the attention span of a three-year old child after she has consumed an entire box of cookies, chocolate chip of course.
I’m not whinning and I’m certainly not ungrateful for all the wonderful things in my life. I’m just wondering if maybe I’m going about this quest for success and completion all wrong. Perhaps…
This is just me thinking out loud
As I tip-toe across meadows and meander in moments of time I’m often amazed at what we take for granted, never bothering to look at the things we should be thankful for. Things like a loving family, caring friends, good health and a roof over our heads.
Over the past few months of tough times for so many I’ve heard mostly negative feedback, whining and so many why me’s. A large percentage of this has come from individuals that have so much to be thankful for and very little to cry about.
With all of the negative press and unhappy people it’s hard to focus on what truly matters most. After all that said I would like to proclaim this day, a day to be grateful, positive and hopefully contagious. My mission today is to spread positive energy with a smile, kind gesture or positive thought. I will refuse any vibes of the negative persuasion, only blissful energy will be allowed to enter my space.
How about you? I dare you to join me in a blissful Thursday…
Over the past year and a half I’ve been working a little from home and enjoying a respit from the every day office scene. It’s been different and nice. You would think that by this time my house would be completely organized and I would be totally up to date on all current events. But somehow I feel less informed and my house is the same- looks good unless you open the closets- beware of falling debrie! I quite often boycott the news because I don’t want to hear about the unemployment rate for the fifth time today and I really don’t care about the political views of our daily talk show hosts. I am quite often guilty of tunnel vision and only see whats right in front of me or what directly affects me, me and oh yeah, me.
With my head in the sand, I’ve been left with several questions like: what happened to daylight savings- weren’t we supposed to fall back already? When are our troops coming back from Iraq, did we enter some sort of extension or just decide to stay? Has New Orleans recovered from the flood, is the city rebuilt and is it business as usual fo her residents? Who killed Jonbenet Ramsey and what happened to the former president , has he officially become a missing person?
It was easy to stay on top of the news or daily current events when I was working with a political junkie, a religious zealot and Ms. CNBC but now I am totally and quite blissfully, I might add, unaware of whats happening in the world today. Is that wrong?
I have started a new part-time job but there really isn’t much to report yet. It seems my new place of employment is nothing like the highly organized, rule oriented place I left behind. They can’t seem to keep a manager long enough to begin training for the new hires. I get a call almost daily explaining a new plan. I’m told it will be some time next week but no exact date and time as of yet. Now, I understand why they asked if I was flexible- flexible yes, unorganized a little, confused quite often… hmmmm, maybe I’ll fit right in
Someone once said:
A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
Remember the pregger belly shoot? Well tomorrow is the big day. Grand Princess number two will be born by c-section at around 8 am. Postings on this blog may be a little sporadic for a while but be prepared for a lot of tiny fingers and toes and just plain cute. I will be busy being nurse, maid and Grammy for a few weeks. The basement apartment has been equipped with an added nursery. I’ll keep you posted on the health of Mom and baby as soon as I can and yes there will be lots of pictures!
Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.
Yummy pink and mossy green dripping with a few tiny rain drops are a few of my favorite things about a summer garden. I floated out of bed this morning to a hazy sky still accommodating a full beautiful moon, foggy mist slowly dissipating over the pond, stone floors that cooled my toes as soon as they met, and a toasty cup of coffee. The neighborhood is still quiet at this hour, no cars, no people just kitties waiting at my door for a free breakfast. I love quiet mornings (once I’ve had my first cup of Joe) and the promise of a beautiful day.
The morning sun shining on the love shack in my garden was captured through my bedroom window. I love how the window screen makes this shot look like an old photo.
As I sit composing this post the moon has disappeared and the mist is gone, the sky is clearing as the sun peeks out from behind a cloud. My toes are warm and there are kittens wrestling on my porch- looks like it is going to be a perfect day!
I guess I’m feeling a little Julie Andrews this morning.
Have a perfect Friday and a wonderful weekend.
Her head was filled with secrets and stories too good to tell. She desperately wanted to tell you but there was this matter of the heart. You see it had blossomed and ripened and was just about ready to burst with happiness when something happened. A tiny leak caused this heart to bleed just a little and then a little became alot.
Her heart was still beautiful but could no longer do the job it was intended for. The perfect love requires the perfect heart, no leaks, no flaws.
This mishap or matter of the heart led her to a place of a different kind. Maybe not the land of love stories but a place enchanted and full of light. So she started down a new path no less then the last- just different.
She wasn’t afraid and didn’t lose her heart completely. She found a place for her heart that was secret and hidden and just right for safe keeping.
“Don’t be afraid” she says to take a new path and make a new start, follow your passion, your bliss, your heart. She took one tiny step and then another and entered something wonderful. This girl with the bleeding heart took her first step to creating a new life-will you?
It looks like the perfect day to follow your bliss. I think I’ll start my day on the deck with a cup of Starbucks coffee in my hand and the sun on my toes- just as soon as it warms up a little. What about you?
I thought I would share with you the music that is playing in the background today. Bliss is my fav group and the album Quiet letters is perfect. It is imported but I think you can get it on Amazon. Here are three of their best tunes. Enjoy!
The next tune “Kissing” has become quite popular and has been commercially released- it’s my fav. I have some awesome photography and someday I’d like to learn how to make my own video. Just another thing to add to the list of things that keep me from writing. I am an incredible procrastinator!
I’m listening to Bliss to inspire my writing but instead of finishing my book I’m sharing with you.
Nick Drake just took over my music player humming along with “Three Hours.” Not getting too far with my writing a measly 300 or so words but the music is taking me places I couldn’t get to on my own. Next up is John Mayer with”Belief.”
I changed up the music to a little coldplay “Sparks” I was listening to this song last night as I sat in a parking lot waiting for someone. I watched the people in the laundry mat folding their clothes. I watched them carefully crease and fold every piece. The absence of their voices, whirring washing machines and tumbling dryers forced me to focus on their facial expressions and inspired me to write the previous post. Yeah, I do things like that. My favorite song of Cold Play’s is of course “Clocks” no big surprise there
Hello sofa friends are you stir crazy, cabin feverish or just plain sick of winter yet? Silly question! I am so ready for a spring trip that I have been pulling out my beach wear which reminded me of a funny story. So I thought I’d share.
Last year I bought a really cute Juicy Couture swim suit. While I was strutting along the beach, feeling really hip, I over heard a man say to his wife, “Can you believe she has juicy written on her ass?” His wife said, “conceited bitch.” Now it never occurred to me that there were people who were totally clueless about Juicy Couture. (I know I am sometimes blissfully unaware but I like it that way) They probably live in a cave or next to a Kmart. Okay, that may sound a bit snarky but they started it.
For the rest of the trip I strutted around with a pair of shorts covering my juicy butt. Yes I succumed to peer pressure even though that suit was way too expensive to cover with a pair of cut-offs. This year I am searching for a really sexy but not too sexy suit, without a word about or on my ass. It is damn near impossible to find the perfect swim suit. Maybe I will run my choices by the Sofa Diary readers before making a purchase. I want to avoid another fashion faux pa and I know you all have the perfect fashion sense.