Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Bloody Confessions

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 She says she’s in love with a vampire.

 Joni (not her real name) stretched out on the sofa (The Velvet Lady) yesterday to tell me that her love/lust of vampires is getting in the way of a sex life with her husband. Oh sure she still loves him but he just doesn’t do anything for her sexually anymore (is it the no-fangs thing or do vampires have some other special qualities that I am not aware of?)  Her problems have totally gotten out of control since the release of the movie Twilight.

She fantasizes about having an affair with a vampire and spends hours of role playing on-line.  So far she has kept the secret from her hubby but he is beginning to suspect something and wants them to seek couples therapy.  What should she do?

Javajune: I have to say that I just can’t relate to the whole vampire or beast allure. It’s not my thing and definitely not a sexual turn-on for me.  As soon as the fangs came out the attraction would be so over for me. No, I have not seen the movie Twilight, nor have I read the books, but com-on their YA and I’m a grown woman- how good can they be?

I will admit to a little curiosity about the whole story and you can bet that I will be ordering it up on pay-per-view as soon as it arrives. What about you?

Do you share Joni’s fantasy or something simuliar? Climb onto my sofa and tell me all about it.

JJ

December 3, 2008 Posted by | confessions, Uncategorized | , , , , , | 6 Comments

It Must Be True

It has been several weeks since I heard such an interesting confession. Penny (let’s call her that) was a beautiful girl with a boring life. Her confession started with what she liked to do for fun. She said she liked to stalk people she was envious of until she got their routine down. Then she would break into the house when they were away and pretend to be them. Touch their things, wear their clothes, lay in their bed. This really creep-ed me out. I wasn’t quite sure if she made it up to impress her me or if it was for real. She described her last scenario play by play and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Here is her startling confession as told to me from the Velvet Lady:

 Penny knew exactly where the key was hidden and it took her less than a minute to get inside. She quickly made her way up the long staircase. She knew right away which bedroom belonged to Debra and Dan. As soon as she opened the closet and began to touch Debra’s clothes, a snap came over her and the fantasy began. She touched her sweater, touched her robe, touched the boiled wool coat Debra got for Christmas, touch, touch, touch, jackpot, this was the one. She chose the silk nightgown with a matching robe that was trimmed in a fluffy feather boa. It fit her like a glove and flowed off her body in a very sheer fabric. She sat down in front of the dressing table and brushed her hair, next came the make up and the jewelry. Then she walked down the steps in Debra’s black pumps and opened the refrigerator to pour herself a glass of orange juice. Just as she sat down at the kitchen table and opened the newspaper she heard a car door slam. She jumped to her feet as her glass of orange juice shattered across the floor. She tugged at the slider but it wouldn’t budge. She then saw the wedge in the bottom track and removed it. The door slide open, she kicked off her shoes and ran across the lawn, around the shed and to the side of the house. She peeked around the corner to see Dan open the front door and walk inside. Penny made a dash for her car and drove off down the dirt road in Debra’s see-thru nighty. She said her heart was turning summer salts, but it was the most exciting twenty minutes of her life- even better than sex.

Penny laughed as she touched the souvenir she was wearing. It was a pearl necklace that belonged to Debra. Penny said it was the best pearl necklace she ever got.

Who could make something like that up? It must be true!

JJ

December 3, 2008 Posted by | confessions, secrets, should be illegal | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gifting Circles and other Illegal Stuff

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Here is a confession of my own. Let me get comfy on the sofa. Ahhh, okay here goes:

I wasn’t born yesterday, far from it, but why do I feel so tempted to do something so stupid and very illegal? I was approached a few days ago about joining a Woman’s Gifting Circle. The invitation came from an old friend for a girls night of food and sharing. She said it was a gifting club for woman where they get together and talk while exchanging gifts. Okay here’s how that conversation went:

This is me: “Okay, sounds like fun, what sort of gift should bring?” Friend: Well it’s kind of hard to explain but we give each other money.” Me: “Money, how much money?” Friend:“Most groups give 5k each. (yeah thats right 5 thousand) and our  8 names form a heart. The woman at the point or bottom of the heart gets the 40k. Then she drops out and everyone moves down a spot.” Me: “What 5k are you crazy?”

Well you can imagine how the rest of that conversation went. I just couldn’t get over the fact that she wanted me to bring 5k in cash and hand it over, all in hopes that I would eventually receive 40k, if we get enough suckers, I mean woman, to join.

I asked around a bit and did a little google search but I still wasn’t satisfied with what I heard or found. The net said pyramid scheme and very illegal. People I know said,” oh yeah I heard so and so did it and made 40k or did it twice and made 80k.”

My brain says; what a scam and Junie girl you would have to be one crazy bitch to get involved with that. I can just see it now, after the money is exchanged the swat team will bust through the windows, swinging on ropes, put me in handcuffs and then hall me away to share my new digs with my new roomy, Big Bonnie.  😮

Ohhh, Did I forget to tell you about my vivid imagination. Yeah it’s pretty bad. Throw in a little anxiety and a lot of caffeine and you have the rambling version of Java June. But seriously readers, what should I do? I am sooo curious and who wouldn’t want to make a quick and painless 40k?  Yes Janet, I am well aware of the old add-age; if it sounds to good to be true it probably is, but, but I just want to go to see what kind of women are involved. Should I go and leave my check book at home or should I just stay away, all together, because I know how easily suckered I am?… And of course there is the illegal part. Have I ever done anything illegal before, you ask?  Well that’s an entirely different post 🙂

JJ

December 3, 2008 Posted by | confessions, me, should be illegal, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 24 Comments