Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

My Boyfriend is Black and My Parents are Racists

Please welcome Missy to the sofa.

Christmas is going to be hell this year. I have a new boyfriend and we really want to spend the Holidays together, but my family is going to be a problem. Most of my family members, including my parents, are a bunch of  closed- minded racists. They won’t understand when I show up at the door with my black boyfriend. They would cringe at even the thought of it.  I have avoided telling them about my new relationship to avoid their wrath but now the time has come to spill the beans.

If I tell them in advance we won’t be welcome and yes, they will go as far as uninviting me. If I show up with him unannounced, they won’t have time to react and I’m hoping that throughout the day, they will learn to see him as a person and maybe even like him. It could get very uncomfortable and I have warned him but we really want our relationship to work and keep ties with our families.  He has agreed to give my family a chance.  Does anyone out there have any advice for us?

Junie: Missy this sounds like a rough Holiday for you and your boyfriend. It ‘s really too bad that you have to deal with this kind of prejudice at all. You are a lucky girl to have a wonderful boyfriend who is willing to subject himself to this kind of behavior for you.  Good Luck and Happy Holidays.


December 15, 2008 - Posted by | family woes, secrets | , , , , , , , ,


  1. Don’t let the family sway you on this relationship. Follow what your heart and gut are telling you. They may be mad for awhile but there is a bigger issue than racism at hand if they want to get rid of you over something like this. Part of me thinks that the surprise approach may actually work but I do worry that there could someone who decides to make a scene.

    Overall, i think this could also be a chance for your family to not only see him as a person but put these silly prejudices aside. A lot of it comes from ignorance rather than hate but ignorance can spawn hate. If the root cause is them just not being exposed to people of other cultures, there is a good chance this will be something you can look back and laugh at. If it’s all hate based they need to ask to take a long hard look at themselves.

    I wish you and your boyfriend a great Christmas and hope it works out for you.

    Comment by Ricardo | December 16, 2008

  2. Thanks Ricardo for your sound advice. It still amazes me the amount of prejudice that still exists out there.

    Comment by javajune | December 18, 2008

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