“Can you see me?” she asked.
Some days she felt as though she were invisible, like she could enter and exit a room without anyone noticing that she did infact exist. She could float like the tiniest dust particle and land where ever she chose. That sounds kind of appealing in a way, like an opportunity to fly under the radar and catch a private glimpse of the world and all her secrets without anyone being the wiser.
But what if she wanted someone to notice that she could speak, laugh, contribute and make a difference? What if all she wanted was someone to notice that she was breathing and feeling and so very alive. Yes, she desperately wanted that, but no matter how hard she tried it seemed that she was much too small to be seen. No matter how high she jumped or how loud she screamed nobody knew she was there, nobody noticed, nobody cared.
What can a girl in this predicament do to make certain that her life does not go unnoticed? How can she make herself bigger, brighter, louder and some how recognizable? She has already seen and done so many things, how could just one more make a difference?
Do you ever feel surrounded by things, people and life but yet you wonder… Do they really SEE me?
Just a little mid-week pondering on a rainy Thursday. Hey, I finally opened my Etsy shop back up. I’m not sure why…I guess I just felt like it. On Monday I’m starting an e-course called Unravelling. It is suppose to take me on a creative journey of reconnection with myself . I have to say that I think I’m pretty connected with me. It’s the going beyond myself that I seem to struggle with. We’ll see where this photo safari takes me. I’ll probably take you all with me on this journey of self discovery. I know I kind of do that already but just maybe this will be a little different. Maybe this girl who seems to be somewhat invisible will finally come into focus. Maybe….
Wow, it’s Thursday already. Take some time for you (me time) and enjoy your day.
Last night I welcomed DJ to the sofa and she talked about the pain of losing her best friend. It happened in the ususal way- a fight over a guy. This is what she had to say…
“he plays his game..i fell for it..and then i tell her the truth. She screams and tells me our friendship is over with no forgiveness. I was sorry for what I did thats why I told. I regretted it.I have been crying since march because I miss my friend.”
It made me wonder why this seems to happen to women over and over again. What is it that makes us forget our heads and fall into the arms of a man before we consider the consequences? Do they have some sort of unseen power that can’t be stopped? Yeah, I think that’s it.
The following is a little ditty that kind of illustrates that power and our weakness toward it.
Tally stared hard at the man in the dark corner of the bar. She felt her heart stop and then start again. Underneath that cowboy hat was a face she knew and loved. Tally ran to his side and tossed his hat to the floor. He looked up and pulled her lips to his. The long kiss with his melt in her mouth lips and a soft caress was familiar and just the way she liked it. David always knew just how to touch her; it was perfect and exactly what she needed. Tally was a different person now and had vowed to never fall in love again but that idea became buried deep the moment she saw him. The lies, the loneliness and his cheating ways all forgotten with just one kiss. They were lovers from a lifetime ago who had found each other again. Even though she’d prayed that her life would be declared a do-over, this couldn’t be happening. Her eyes were clouded by tears but sight wasn’t necessary as she breathed in the scent of this man she’d missed so much, it was heaven. As her tears subsided she cradled her hands around his cheeks and took a long look at his face; she knew it was true because the eyes never lie. He still loved her. She could learn to forgive him because lies can be told for good reason and fairy tales sometimes do come true, don’t they? Tally was searching for a new life on her own but found instead that the past was too much a part of her. She couldn’t let go.
Just something I wrote a couple years ago and it seemed to fit this situation. DJ if your listening (reading) forget the guy, especially if you really don’t care about him, like you said. Give your friend some time to forgive you, don’t force it. When the time is right you can tell her how sorry you are and forge a new friendship. Good luck to you.
It’s getting a little steamy in here I think I’ll go take a cool shower. On second thought maybe I’ll go find my cowboy hat 😉 Enjoy your day.
A very long time ago when the queen of day dreams was just a little girl she inspired to be a perfumist. This caused a little trouble and fight for time in the lou as she locked the door and drew a bath. She was indulging her creative side by mixing potions (Mom’s perfume) and such (sister’s body splash) until she got the scent just right. After an hour or so of listening to a little begging at her door, she would emerge with a secret bottle of magic tucked in her robe. It was the perfect lotion or just right shampoo with a little creative magic bubbling inside.
This day dreaming queen is once again playing perfumist but this time it’s no secret. She is mixing and plotting to get the alluring scent just right. A little sandalwood here and lime blossom there, drop of geranium and hint of citrus to freshen the air. She ‘ll get it right, you wait and see. How could she not with inspirations such as the sea swept breezes and tantalizing blossoms that grow along side a shell covered beach, occupied by modern beach babes drenched in a magical aroma of girl moxie.
The final concoction will be a control batch for the Island Girl’s Bohemian blend diffusers. Each bottle will be hand mixed and unique. The fun has just begun and the aroma is making her a little giddy. She’s searching for a scent that creates the perfect mood of “come hear boy” and “dreamy inspiration”.
It will take the perfect blend of bubbling magic to please the nose and pass the test. Scent is the strongest trigger of memory, they say. I do believe it’s true. Have you ever entered a room that immediately threw you into memories of the past but you didn’t know why or how? It’s amazing how that happens.
(Ooops I’m wearing the same pink striped suit in this pic as the one from last year’s beach pic in an earlier post. Geez maybe I am thrifty) 😉
The spiciness of a woodsy scent blended with a pop of floral and a spritz of citrus takes me back to my days of childhood freedom- I don’t know why.
What aromas make you feel, remember or dream?
I am impacted most by the aroma, the color of light or the music in a room or place. Sometimes it takes me by surprise and I’m totally unaware of what’s taking place while these elements work their magic behind the scene. Next time you enter a room, pay attention to the way it makes you feel. You might be surprised by the culprit of your impressions. Atmosphere is everything!!!
This is what’s playing in the background of my little bohemian laboratory today. Take a moment and listen with me.
I hope insight, inspiration, moxie and of a course a little magic follow you through your day.
from my spirit to yours -jj
She tiptoed through the freshly bloomed flowers with the sun on her face and she knew. It only took a tiny peek and a deep breath to confirm her suspicions. The air smelled fresh and the breeze was just right as it blew through her freshly washed hair. The essence of something very familiar begged her to stay just a little longer.
So she rolled up her sleeves and dared to get dirty. Her imagination ran free and her mind was tickled by the color of tiny flower petals. It was just what she needed to scratch that itch she had felt for so long. It was finally over this she knew for sure. The long winter had been laid to rest and her lust for spring would finally be met. There was no reason to question the coming of spring anymore.
The signs were all there in plain sight just waiting for this day dreaming girl to come out and enjoy. So she did. She dug in the dirt and played in the sun until she spied something perfect through her lens. It was the irresistible combination of life just beginning in a home all shiny and new and recycled. The birds have had it right all along. Make something new again from the old and unwanted. The color was marvelous and the construction was perfect. When playtime came to an end, she sat back with tall glass of iced tea and said, “ahhhh, Spring where have you been? I’ve missed you sooo much!”
I hope you enjoyed your weekend as much as I did. But it’s back to work for me. I have a busy day ahead, of moving computer files (I finally laid Mr. Puter to rest) and getting ready for a garden party. Take a step outside and just breath…..
P.S. I LOVE SPRING
This is the tale of a girl who is always looking for inspiration and ways to connect herself to others. She dreams often and when she dreams it is global. She looks for hope in every face and loves little treasures with a deeper meaning of faith and love. That is why she couldn’t pass up the change to posses a piece of culture and prayer from across the the world. A Buddha statue and Tibetan prayer wheel were being sold by a family who relocated to the states from Nepal. A place where the culture is so rich and faith is everything. Hand to hand and soul to soul the exchange took place. The tiny treasures that had traveled so far became her own. It was as if she too had been there to experience the people, the culture and the treasures that put a girl on a budget at risk. She laughed at the thought of being in the red because she knew that it was so worth it.
The best time to act is when opportunity presents itself, another chance may never come. The dreaming part matters! It can take you places you have never been and will never physically go. You are on a journey much like this girl who dreams too much. Don’t let opportunity pass and experinces be waisted. Plant the seed and then let it bloom. Let your dreams run free and your spirit soar. Life is truly worth it and so are you.
(Women holding a Tibetan Prayer wheel. I would love to give credit for the Tibetan pictures but can’t remember where I found them.)
Have faith in the universe and yourself. Good things are on their way.
soul to soul-jj
Remember your first time… ? (oh yeah…) Hey, I’m talking about blogging here! You know when you first got this crazy idea to start a blog and you were so excited and maybe even a little nervous. Well maybe that was just me. I remember how naive I was. I thought, “okay I’m going to do this just for me and not tell anyone about it.” I will say whatever I want, tell all of my secrets, rant about anyone and everyone who may or may not have pissed me off that day and listen to everyone else tell their story. I thought the minute I put up a post there would be swarms of Internet junkies just waiting to comment because everyone is so interested in knowing what I have to say, right? I know, I know you’re shaking your head…. poor naive girl, where did she come from?
I learned very quickly that it takes work to get your name out there and just because someone visits doesn’t necessarily mean they will have something to say. Let alone share their secrets with you. Well things have changed a bit but not too much. I still tell you most (okay a lot) of my secrets, sometimes in a round about way and I do rant quite often. I do get an email with a story or comment from time to time. ( I also get emails asking for my bank account info and gentleman asking me to set them up with a lady friend for the night, where the hell did they get the crazy idea that I was running an escort service?) A few people read what I have to say and it’s fun to just let loose even if nobody is listening or reading.
So all of the above rambling brings me to this question- what were your expectations when you started to blog and have they been met? Do you do it as a release or are you trying to connect with people who have similar interests? Oh sorry that’s two questions.
For me blogging is all the above and more. It is definitely a release, even if no one is listening and a way to connect and exchange ideas but most of all it’s a form of entertainment (it sure beats what”s usually on TV) That’s how or why the “Sofa Diary” was born( if you’re new to this blog click here for info about the Sofa Diary) . I started the book first and then decided to let it spill over on to this blog. It certainly beats my childhood diary, with pictures and everything. So that’s it for today… I was just curious as to why you blog, I’m always curious!
Enjoy the weekend.
(Gazing ball on my porch, reflecting me and my front door- it felt right)
So i took this picture last night about an hour before sunset and it evoked a feeling in me. Well it was more like one of those questioning or pondering kind of things I do when I’m alone. The thing I was wondering about was this- what impacts you and I to do the things we do? Let me make this simple… what is it that makes you act on an impulse one day but play it safe the next? I am very impulsive most of the time, especially when shopping- definitely not a good thing these days.
I get in a certain mood when everything just feels right and then watch out because I’m ready to try almost anything. But what is it that makes me feel this way? I think it’s sometimes the right music, a seducing scent like Jo Malone’s Pomagranite Noir– can’t get enough of that- or maybe vintage colors that are warm and just melt one into the other, trigers it. Yeah, it’s that allure thing again.
(Bougainvillea vine on my cottage deck)
I’m not sure what it is but I know the feeling when something is just right at the moment and so I act on it. It doesn’t always look or feel the same a little later. But you know when something is right even if it’s only right for the moment. Well this is the story of my life. yes I live for the moment but I love it. My life is one big series of moments just strung together by a crazy thread. Everything doesn’t always fit so nice and neatly but that’s okay. I enjoy everyday some more than others. Everything doesn’t have to make sense, well at least I hope not because if it does then I clearly missed the boat a long time ago. I always have several kettles on to boil, or irons in the oven, so to speak. Sometimes I roll with one for a while and leave it in the dust and then try another for a while. It does get a bit confusing at times but loving what you do is what it’s all about.
You may be wondering when I’m going to get to the point of this ramble but that’s just it- there is no point- just rambling.
The weather is changing and the birds are chirping- gotta love that- go out and enjoy it!
The following story was inspired by an experience I had many years ago.
She walked softly and dared not speak. Her words couldn’t possibly change his mind about where they were going. It was late summer and the heat index was well over 90 degrees. She felt a drop of sweat starting at the nap of her neck and sliding down her spine just before it disappeared into the band of her cutoffs. They walked for what seemed like hours and her knees were beginning to buckle when a black ford parked beside them. The door opened and a strange man said, “get in.” She was nervous but somewhat relieved to get out of the mid-afternoon sun. The men inside the car exchanged words but nothing in her native tongue. She listened but didn’t understand. The sun faded as her eyes fell closed. When she awoke there were only shadows and whispers. Her companion was still sitting by her side but everyone else was gone. She looked into his worried face but didn’t dare ask. Off in the distance the men were having a smoke under a street lamp, a mangy dog ran past and then her door swung open. A man in a black suit motioned for her to get out. She did. He took her inside a brick building, down a hall and into a room with chairs and nothing else. She sat alone and waited for what she didn’t know. The next few hours alluded her perception and it was morning before she knew it. As the girl looked up she noticed a crowd of people all dressed in their Sunday best. They were huddled around something but what? She had to move closer to take a peek. As the girl approached the wooden box she was afraid of what she might see. It may change everything or haunt her forever, but something told her that she had to look just once. The face was so familiar and caused her knees to buckle. She knew this face, this life, that had now passed. It was someone she had once loved but who? Her mind was playing a nasty trick of don’t tell because it will hurt too much. She searched the faces on the people that surrounded the box. She listened to the words but still no name…no name. Who was in the pine box? Will her mind ever give it up? Can she handle the truth?
This story was similar to an experience I had when I was young. I witnessed the death of a person I knew and cared about. What followed that incident still amazes me today. The mind will do whatever it takes to protect itself from a painful overload. I did finally remember who had passed away but it wasn’t until after the funeral when I was alone in the shower that my mind allowed the break-thru. I didn’t dare ask anyone at the funeral who this person was because I was so ashamed that I didn’t know. It was one of those twilight zone kind of things. I guess I never realized how powerful the mind can be. I think this gives the saying “mind over matter” a whole new meaning. It’s kind of scary in a beautiful mind kind of way. What do you think?
Sorry for the dark post on such a beautiful day. As I said in my last post I am having problems with my computer again so if I vanish for a day or two don’t call 911, well not unless I get my hands on the boys in the Geek Squad that charged me 200 dollars to fix Mr. Puter. I think he may be beyond help at this point. Sometimes he works just fine and other times he turns on and off every few seconds. Sometimes I just hate technology. Shhhh, he might hear me.
Go out and enjoy the sunshine if you have it- jj
The gnome had a great time on vacation. He started out with a drink at the airport bar. This is a must for a relaxing flight. He really likes his tequila but he was very good on the trip. He drank very little but then again who needs to drink when you are on a beautiful island with nothing to do but eat and soak up the sun. I did get some odd looks as I posed him for a few pictures here and there. I was amazed at how many people weren’t familiar with Travelocity’s traveling gnome.
Don’t tell the gnome but… I found a sexy statue that I would have preferred to travel with if only it had been for sale. This sexy man stood on top of a cooler, guarding the bait at Jensen’s Marina.
He is quite the handsome fellow don’t you think? I’m not sure what the old man sitting in the chair next to me thought when I climbed on top of the patio table and crouched under the umbrella to get this shot. Nothing worth capturing is ever easy you know? I must say that I wouldn’t mind having this statue on my computer desk. No I didn’t steal him but just think what kind of romance he could inspire me to write. Hmmmm, yeah it would be steamy. I was tempted to put him in my beach bag but I am a law abiding citizen for the most part 😉
Mr. gnome did manage to get to the beach and he made quite a spectacle of himself, but how hard can that be for a 2 foot man wearing a pointy cap and boots on the beach. Oh yeah speaking of his pointy cap…a friend of mine warned me that the airport security might seize him because his hat looked too much like a weapon. I laughed and guess what? They did pull my bag aside and search it but not before asking me if there were any sharp objects inside. I said, “Well only one but he won’t hurt you.” They weren’t amused! Bet you wish you could travel with me. I’m usually harmless but good for a few laughs. Airport employees aren’t generally in the mood for a few laughs so I do behave even after a couple drinks.
I will try to get a couple posts in today in case my computer decides to take a dive. He started acting up the minute I got back from vacation. The geek squad may have some explaining to do about Mr. Puter’s relaspe.
Enjoy your day.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” -Maria Robinson
This quote is the perfect thought for spring. I don’t think that the beginning of the year should be January 1st when everything lies asleep or in a dormant state. It should be more like April first when the earth is regenerating or starting over. Bird chirping weather is my favorite time of year. It’s the time of year when you can create that special place to go and escape from reality. Perhaps a little corner garden to connect with nature or a cozy nook to sip some tea and get lost in a good book. Somewhere off the beaten path, where beauty abounds and nobody knows your name. I found so many places just like that during my island trip. It was truly perfect and I will miss it. The thing I’ll miss most about visiting a tropical island, aside from the warm weather, is the feeling of wide open spaces. I walked across the beach with the sounds of the ocean crashing in on the sand and the Terns taunting one another over a tiny crab in the surf, but then the sounds were hushed and a silence fell over my ears and mind as I entered the thick vines and trees that framed the shell crushed path (see the pic in this post) leading me to the cottage.
I have so many, too many, thoughts and inspirations floating through this tiny head of mine. I think I am in need of an internal secretary, to start labeling and filing all of my ideas so they can be easily retrieved as needed. Instead all of my thoughts and inspirations are running about, bumping into one another, while jumping up and down in pursuit of my attention. This forces an automatic shut down or mental crash and then nothing gets done. Can anyone out there relate?
Some of the crazy ideas running rampant in my head are creating a dream garden in my yard that is centered among the trees with a gypsy tent and twinkling lights strung over head.
And then… the entrepreneurial side of me dreams of a successful business that feels like play. I saw just that on a past visit to Nantucket Island and said, “why can’t I do that?” A young girl was selling flowers from a vintage truck on the side of the road. It was so chic and quaint at the same time. It looked like the perfect business for a day dreaming girl who loves flowers and wide open spaces.
So you see it gets pretty crowded up there at times, especially when you consider the permanent residents that dwell there full time- like the neurons who claim to be a writer from time to time and my creative side that must construct little trinkets in the late night hours and of course, the usual suspects like, logic (yes I have that) and reasoning kinds of stuff.
Oh well, enough day dreaming for today. It’s time to get busy and take care of a few much neglected tasks around the house. Don’t get me wrong I am very thankful for everything… but that day dreaming girl is always close-by and refuses to be denied. Yes it’s back to reality and my pretty normal life.
But before we part ways for the day, I would like to leave you with this beautiful sunset from my trip.
Clearly I wasn’t the only one enjoying the beautiful weather.
I hope you have a bird chirping kind of day.