Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

The real me isn’t quite as provocative as that other girl

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Get ready because I’m going to unravell a bit here.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that this space has changed. I must confess that this blog started out as some what of a fraud. I was searching for a new me, trying new things, and writing in a different genre or style. I have always been a writer and creative soul but I wasn’t getting anywhere, so I thought well maybe I should change my style.  Maybe I should be a little more provocative or edgy that will get some attention. I’m here to tell you that trying to be something you’re not just doesn’t work. It’s best to be authentic and stick with what comes natural.

So I’m putting out the notice that what you have seen as of late is the real me and you can expect more of the same. I will no longer be entertaining saucy confessions from the sofa and my romance novel is on hold. You can expect a dreamy girl with an optimistic attitude, maybe too optimistic at times.

I have always loved to write and I had an intense hobby in photography years ago. I gave up my hobby when I was trying to climb the corporate ladder (which wasn’t me either) and film cameras gave way to digital. I just couldn’t get into the whole digital manipulation thing. The quality and depth of my digital photographs just wasn’t there. Well, as you’ve probably noticed I have gone back to my love of looking at the world from behind the lens and I’m trying to embrace (learn) the whole photoshop thing. It’s not easy!

I decided that if I really want to make a go of anything my heart has to be in it and it has to a part of me. I feel so alive when I’m behind the camera, looking  at the world through a little hole. I took a walk around a neighborhood in the big city today(big compared to a population of 6000 in my town) with my ipod on and my camera in hand and it hit me. This is it- this is me! So here I am confessing to you that the girl you met when this blog first started no longer lives here.

I hope you will hang out and get to know the real me. She isn’t as edgy or provocative as that other girl but I think you’ll like her if you just give her a chance. I’m sure there will be more confessions and more of me to come out in the near future but this is it for now.

Have a wonderful weekend!

xo-jj

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May 29, 2009 Posted by | confessions, me, photography, rants | , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Soft and Dreamy……

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Soft and dreamy,

like a whisper in my ear,

or a song in my head,

you were there.

The green grass tickled my ear,

 as the sky begged my forgiveness,

you were there,

holding my hand,

kissing my cheek,

you were there,

and now we’re here.

Oh how I love soft and dreamy things. These roses are dried and have been sitting in a vase in my bathroom for about three years. I love how the colors are faded and just kind of melt one into the other. It sort of represents how I want to live my life, gently and beautifully melting one day into the next. I think I prefer life like that although sometimes there is the temptation to live it a little more intensely.

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Doesn’t the sky sometimes just amaze you? Light and atmosphere are pretty amazing stuff. I won’t pretend to understand any of it- I barely passed chemistry. My mind works more in a  dreamy and fluffy dimension.

I have to tell you something embarrassing that happened to me on Monday but only if you promise not to laugh. Okay so now that you promised here goes… Sunday night about 11:30 pm  I’m watching tv in bed (bad habit of mine) and I notice my feet are in desperate need of hydration, so I grab some lotion out of the back of the cupboard and slather in on. Fast forward to Tuesday, I shower, dress and take off for the day. I’m handing money over to the clerk in a store and  and holy shit comes out of my mouth accidentally (I don’t swear very often) because I notice that the palms of my hands are brown and between my fingers and my finger nails all muddy brown. The clerk just raises an eye brow (i’m sure he washed his hands after touching my money) and says nothing. I get back to my car and look down at my toes peeking out of my sandals, they look filthy. Can you guess what happened?

Well, it took me a minute to figure it out. I must have grabbed some old self tanning lotion to put on my feet the night before. It must have gone bad because the color it left was not very appealing. It looked like I had been working in the muck fields and forgot to wash. I can’t believe that I didn’t notice it before I left the house. I must have been in one of my preoccupied modes.

Enjoy your weekend… The sun is finally out here after 3 days of overcast yuk. wahooo!!! (what is the correct spelling for wahoo anyway?)  Mr. spell checker says I got it wrong but he doesn’t know how to spell it either. Come on Libby you should know this after watching the spelling bee finals 🙂

xo-jj

May 29, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, rants | , , , , , , | 6 Comments

No super-girl here…

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(the grand-princess escaping another photo session)

 

I had to do it-tell you about the monster that haunted my dreams last night. It all started around mid-night as I was getting ready for bed. I was standing in the master bath ready to pull on my pj’s when I saw it. The most hideous monster ever sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor!

Well of course I screamed and then jumped up on the tub ledge. I called to Mr. Java (yeah there’s a Mr. Java I’ve kept him secret and just for me- I’m selfish and don’t share very well) to come to my rescue and even though it was after twelve and Mr. Java had been sleeping for a bout 30 minutes or so but he managed to stagger out of bed and throw a shoe at this grotesque thing. He hates to kill anything but he knew that if he didn’t we, or at least I, would be up all night, with the lights on, looking for the beast. He knew this because I pretty much screamed it throughout the bedroom, “you got one shot- so kill it or else we’re gonna be up all night or at least until he’s dead!”

Yeah, I was quite the authority figure cowering naked on the edge of the tub. No super-girl here! Well, he threw his big shoe and thank god he used to be a baseball player because he hit the bulls eye and yes the wicked wench was dead. You should have seen the thing, so hideous I’m not sure I can describe it. The beast was big really big about the size of the palm of my hand and pale or ghostly white. It looked like something that is an albino and only comes out after darkness. It had fangs, now I couldn’t see the fangs from my hiding place in the bathroom but I know they were there 😉  I was going to do the google thing and look for gortesque pictures of this monster but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

What was left under Mr. Java’s big shoe was a squishy, gooie mess. This thing was full of juicy guts , he was probably flesh eating. After the ritual or more like brutal killing Mr. Java walked past me to flush the remains and I swear I saw the Shadow of something else creepy out of the corner of my eye so I jumped on his back. Well, as I said he was a little tired after I woke him, with all the screaming and shouting out orders, so he kind of lost his balance and there we were lying in a naked heap on the floor. Yes, he did manage a few words that I can’t mention here but I don’t think it fazed him much because by now he is quite used to my hysterics and usually just ignores most of my drama. 

I know what you’re thinking, poor Mr. Java, how does he take all the drama of a girl who screams in the night at a spider/beast, then tackles him to the floor because she’s afraid of the darkness and oh yeah, and she sometimes springs out of bed to photograph the twinkling lights in the garden but worst of all, she spends all his money on her latest crazy dream/project. Oh did I mention that I’m not a very good cook, either?  I never said I was perfect. I have my good points- I just can’t think of them right now.

I’ll say it again, “no super-girl here.”

Sorry for the run-on and very incorrect sentenses but I just love the fact that there are no rules here and I can say it however I want to. I think Katharine Hepburn said it best with this quote: “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”
– Katharine Hepburn

I love that!
xo-jj

May 28, 2009 Posted by | confessions, lovers, me, rants | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A most provocative green goddess

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Today I’m celebrating the color green. It’s not the kind of green you see when you look at blades of grass seeping up between your toes as you walk across the yard. Nor is it the shade of green you see when you look up at the canopy the trees providing some respite from the heat of the afternoon sun. This green is quite different than what you’ll find in nature. It’s causes your eyes to stare and become fixated, it’s provocative, and almost takes your breath away. I love this green for it’s audacity to be bold despite the competition. I’m not implying that this green is any better the the lovely shades found in nature but it does make a statement.

IMG_4437When this shade is coupled with old wood and a rich patina, my heart beat faster with excitement. You may be thinking right about now: what a silly thing to get so excited about. Well, my reply to that would be- it is the little things that make every day special. Sometimes we are so busy living for those big moments that we miss the most extraordinary things that just slip by. A little pop of color here, a little taste of sweetness there can make an ordinary day pretty special. 

This year I made a vow to myself that I would not let the little things pass by without noticing their significance and celebrating their contributions toward making my day special. I won’t allow myself to get caught up in the big prize at the end and give up all the little gifts along the way. The big prize is never as grand as it seems anyway. In the past I’ve lived my life thinking if only I could get to that point in my life or I can’t wait until this happens, only to find that those moments never came or when they did they weren’t so grand after all.

With all of the difficulties we face in life everyday don’t we deserve little bouts of happiness sprinkled in. The answer is “yes” BTW.  Old doors make me happy, so I decided to share some of my happy moments captured  with you.

As I take a trip around the blogsphere I see so many struggling to get through the day. It makes me sad and I want to reach out and say it’s okay or did you notice anything special today? So here I am with this one little blog reaching out to all of you to say " don’t let the good stuff that’s sometimes over shadowed by the ugly stuff slip past you. That little moment when you sink your teeth into a chocolate bar or witness a flock of baby ducklings following their mom across the road maybe the best thing that happened to you on that day. Stop and take a moment to celebrate the way these little tiny blessings make you feel. It may sound silly but I think you’ll find it makes a difference in the way you feel at the end of the day.

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Oh how I would love to have this groovy green gate in my garden. It’s so yummy with little bits of rust peeking through it’s vibrant coat of paint. It reminded me of a big green goddess in the middle of the desert. I drooled over it but it doesn’t go with my earth-toned house and the price tag well lets not go there. I decided that this image would have to do. I can visit it anytime I need a little shot of groovy.

Yes it’s true I am an internal optimist and sometimes that gets annoying but hey what’s the alternative? I have a choice of how I see things and I’ve picked the door with the extraordinary shade of  chippy green paint because it makes me smile. 🙂

xo-jj

May 27, 2009 Posted by | me, photography | , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Chippy paint and hidden secrets

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I love the look and feel of an old door with it’s chippy paint and smooth wood that’s been worn to  perfection. Every door has a secret to tell and it’s this secret that begs for a  peek just beyond the weathered handle. I can’t resist the temptation of a door that has been left open just a crack. That calling from a special place promises to lead to another world, far too magical to ignore. A steady hand and a watchful eye make way into another time and place. The feet follow as the mind is lost in the secret that lies just beyond the door.

I had to let you peek at the old doors that inspired me to spend hours behind the lens this weekend. The lusty colors took my breathe away and the lovely patina sent my hair into the perfect curl.

There’s something magical about an old door. It begs to be opened and plays with the mind.

I felt like a little girl caught up in a fairy tale. I blame it on my childhood book “The Lion the witch and the wardrobe” but maybe it’s just me.

This door has withstood centuries and traveled across an ocean. Who knows what secrets are held behind that beautiful patina.

This image will be listed as part of my found words series on etsy sometime this week. The studio will feature a few images along with the following  original words.

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The calling

 The temptation

The peek at life just beyond the door

Another world

A quiet muse

A magical place

A curious hand and wandering eye begs the feet to step beyond

Be wary

And mindful

 Or you’ll be lost in the secret that lies just beyond the crepit door

 

You never know what kind of magic is waiting for you just beyond the door.

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What kinds of things peek your curiosity or tempt you to go beyond? Perhaps it’s a glowing light in the window as you pass by that begs you to look or the magic of an intricate box tucked away in storage that must be opened. Tell me what sends your hair in the perfect curl.

I’m dying to hear so talk to me….

xo-jj

May 26, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, secrets | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Another day, another mis-adventure

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I started out so determined to get a few pictures in my camera before the sunset. I decided to go to a place that I don’t usually shoot. So I got in my car and drove about 25 miles away to a public garden. The whole way something was nagging at me but I ignored my inner voice of reason and drove on. When  I arrived at the park I couldn’t wait to start capturing the evening light. The light was just gorgeous and the park was at the peek of it’s spring bloom.

Creamy whites and yummy pinks were everywhere!

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 I was in photography heaven except for those nagging thoughts that said, “what would your mother say about you going out alone to a public and very deserted place at dusk? Have you learned nothing over the years? You know bad things happen when you don’t listen to me (yourself)” Yeah it went something like that. I knew it was a bad idea and that nagging voice kept me from getting too involved and probably from capturing the best pictures. I crept around but all the while I kept one eye on the gate and then back to the bushes behind me. I did manage to get some amazing shots but couldn’t totally let go and do my best work with that gnawing fear in my gut.

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The last time I went into a park alone and didn’t listen to my gut I got robbed, not hurt, just robbed but that was enough. Well on this night I didn’t get robbed and nothing bad happened because as soon as I heard the gate swing and saw the shadow of a man entering the garden I was off like a flash.

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I retreated to my locked car where I felt safe and was capable of  a get-away just in case. I hate to be like that and these thoughts make me feel cheated out of the full experience of life. I hate being afraid or a worry wart but what else can a 5′ 1″, 102 pound girl do? Perhaps I could hire a sexy body guard to follow me everywhere. He would have to go where ever I wanted and say nothing like, “are you done yet? or lets go get something to eat.” He would have to go willingly and like it. Here I go thinking of ways to spend money again. Oh BTW as I was heading to the parking lot I noticed that there was someone or some critter watching out for me.

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He was way up in a tree, having an evening snack as he looked down at me. I think all animals are cute even the ones who did holes and make a mess of your yard.

I guess what I really wanted to say with this post is to listen to your inner voice because it’s there for a reason. Be safe and have a wonderful weekend!

xo-jj

May 22, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, rants | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Return of the Garden fairy

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The garden had been very quiet until just recently when it  exploded with color. The garden girl wasn’t sure what had taken place but it seemed to have happened over night. She decided that maybe she should investigate just a little, so she tiptoed through the garden and looked around. Everything looked to be in order until she heard a faint whisper coming from behind the door of the caretaker cottage. She approached it every so slowly and then pulled back the door. The garden girl gasped….You won’t believe what she saw.

 

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It was the sweetest little fairy enjoying a break from her garden chores. The garden girl may have upset her because as soon as the fairy noticed an intruder, she flew off quick as a bird.

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Oh no, will she come back to take care of the garden?  I assured the garden girl that these Fairies are shy but they never neglect their duties or pass up a cute little garden cottage to live in.  This garden fairy will be back when she’s over her fright.

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It wasn’t long before she was back at her duties. No wonder the garden is doing so well. This little fairy has been very busy and as it turns out she isn’t so shy after all. She and the garden girl made friends right away.

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The garden girl would never have guessed that she’d have so much help tending her plants. Garden fairies are cute, cuddly and very good at their jobs; they don’t require much: just a little caretaker cottage, a few flowers and a lot of love will do the trick.

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So there you have it, this garden girl’s secret little cottage is finally revealed and of course the best part is the little caretaker who dwells in the garden and keeps everything just so.

Enjoy this beautiful spring day.

xo-jj

May 21, 2009 Posted by | me, secrets | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A wish and a little inspiration feeds the soul

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Do you feel that hump in the road? It’s coming from somewhere, perhaps from the television blurting out negative thoughts of doom and gloom or maybe it’s already living and breeding in the minds of the people you encounter every day. However it has managed to manifest itself I just want it to go far, far away. It really cramps the style of this day dreaming girl who likes to think of the world as a beautiful place where all things are possible if you truly believe.

So what is a girl like me suppose to do? How can she chase away all these naysayers or smooth out the road before her? She started with a tiny wish that came from a little inspiration that started with a tiny seed. Her wish is for the world to become a little bit softer a little more open which will allow this girl with the perpetual day dream to spread her words and vision far and wide.

Where would this girl get such a seed to allow something like this to take place? Well, the seeds my friends came from all of you. You with your courage to fight a disease that you never asked for and you with the resilience to over come the heart break of losing a loved one and yes even you for the tenacity to change your life at risk of losing everything. You are all tiny seeds of inspiration that give me hope to spread my wings and fly. Thank you for that! 

 Perhaps you’re wondering why I’m sharing this with you today. It all started yesterday when I could hear those naysayers louder than ever, shouting in my ear and I felt that bump in the road more than before. So what did I do to resist, fight back and flatten that bump once and for all? 

I retreated to beautiful blue skies and wide open spaces. A little bistro table and me set out for the field and claimed a spot to sit and dream. We sat for a spell and looked up at the sky, the trees, the birds, and wild flowers too. It was lovely and just the right spot to foster those tiny seeds to take root and you know what happens when you plant a seed. Something wonderful breaks through the soil, spouts hope and breathes life into the hearts and minds of all those hopeful souls who open their windows and relish the breeze.

Are you a wide open soul? Do you let hope follow you home? I think you are but if not I think I have a solution that involves the power of many.

I encourage you to turn off the TV and close your ears to negative noise, then Sit quietly for just a moment and let the seeds of hope take root. If you foster them just a little I assure you they will grow and bloom just beautifully. Imagine if we all worked together to create this beautiful garden of wishes and dreams and hope times ten.  The hope and dreams of one girl is special but the magic of many minds working together can change everything!

So this is my thought, my wish, my dream for today: lets all close our eyes and see the world and our lives not as they are but as we wish them to be. Take just a moment and imagine us all sitting together in a circle holding hands and dreaming good thoughts that last forever. So wish away-you can do it, I know you can.

I’ll be right here waiting for you….  

 WISH>>>> DREAM>>>>> IMAGINE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Good things happen when your window is open and you truly believe!”

If you need a little more encouragement go here. wishstudio_badge_plain_sm

xo-jj

May 19, 2009 Posted by | me, rants, secrets | , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Just for curiosity’s sake

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She knew this moment was too good to pass up. A time to wonder and imply just a little. Two chairs, two woman and a beautiful day at the beach or maybe it went a little like this: two woman, two chairs, a little gossip, a lot of laughter. an ice cold lemonade, and sand between her toes- priceless.

As she looked through her lens she wondered what these two woman had in common were they sisters, best friends or just mere acquaintances having a chat, none of that seemed to matter during the perfect day at the beach. They were enjoying this moment with sandy toes, zesty sips and a tiny break through of laughter. 

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A day dream, ice in a cup, the sunlight in her hair, she listens, then hears a noise beyond the sand, two friends engaging  in a chat…

She laughs to herself,  then goes about her day.  

But the  sunlight in her window makes the day dream replay, she laughs to herself.

Her thoughts are caught by a thread, a moment, a glance, a whisper of curiosity that plays in her head.

Do you ever observe a moment in someone else’s life and wonder what is happening or what it means to that person? I do- quite often. I like to play this game: what”s his/her occupation, where do they live, or what are they saying, feeling or thinking. It’s fun and a great way to spend a sunny day at the beach.

Here it is almost June and I’m still day dreaming about the beach. Why, you ask…. perhaps it’s because as I write to you on the 18th of May, I’m looking down at my little dog sitting on the heat register and then out my window at the earth now blanketed in a heavy layer of frost. Brrrrrr!

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When you  live in Michigan you never know what Mother Nature will bring; sunny and 60 one day and frosty and 30 the next. I never pack away my winter clothes for the season.  Have a great Monday!!!!

-jj

May 18, 2009 Posted by | me, rants | , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Garden magic and a first date

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Sunny days and windy nights have weaved a little magic throughout my newly emerging garden and something is happening that I felt I must share.IMG_3811

 A little magic perhaps? Perhaps, 090 2Maybe…

 

 

 

 Whatever it is I am lusting for more and more and yes a little more, please!IMG_3811 4 

 

 

 

This garden of mine has inspired me to dig a little deeper and wider and as I said before -the tiny garden cottage is coming along but not quite ready to share just yet.

I have been busy collecting just the right plants to complete this gem in process but I still have sod to remove and there is a lot more digging to be done.

I’m so excited to report that this year I will be growing bird house and big dipper gourds. The plants are all started and ready for placement. I grew them on an arbor in my former garden and the magic they brought was amazing and very worth the effort! So just in case you may want to try this yourself here is a little gourd growing DIY advice.

 

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The vines are so vigorous and just fantastic. I enjoyed watching a tiny bud become a huge gourd roomy enough to make a cozy home for our feathered friends. This process is wonderful but it does take a little magic on my part. dipper gourds

Caution… this next part involves a little romance and seduction and yes…  gourd sex 101. So read this  at your own risk.  The vines produce 2 kinds of buds- a male and a female. Well by now, I guess you know where I’m going with this…

It takes a special moth like the hummingbird moth to come out and pollinate the flowers and they only have one night to do it in. They last time I grew gourds I planted about ten to fifteen plants so I only had to pollinate a little because there were enough buds on several nights for the moths to take care of the rest. This time I have only two plants and the opportunities will be very limited.

So this means I will have to go out in the moonlight and set up a first date, so to speak, with a little music and maybe some wine… Of course, that’s just for me- silly.

No really it takes a Q-tip to dip out the pollen from the male flower and lightly deposit it into the female flower. The difference between the two, you ask? The female flower is swollen at the base and the male is pretty ordinary- sorry guys.  See I told you it would all sound quite seductive didn’t I?

The last time I did this a neighbor man came out and asked me what I was doing. I turned a little red as I was explaining and he just said o-k-a-y and walked back to his house.

Now at this point you may be wondering why on earth is she sharing all of this. Well it just so happens that I saw an episode of dirty jobs visiting a gourd farm and it reminded me- so I thought I would share. Aren’t you glad I did?

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I love this time of year when everything is starting new and fresh. The color is just beginning and the birds are busy nesting. But the most important part is the sun, the warmth and no more snow!!!!

So get out there and get a little dirty- you’ll be glad you did!

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 Part II

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Okay now before I end this very long post I just had to mention how blown away I am at  the amazing woman in my unravelling class. They are incredible and have been willing to share their most vulnerable sides with the class. I feel privileged to be a part of this process. We have a private and protected space on Flickr where we can share pictures and our inner most feelings and fears. I can’t believe how open and honest some have been. But that’s the point- to expose ourselves and put it all out on the table where we can work out unresolved issues and receive support.

I have to admit this is not what I had expected. I thought it would be a group of woman, most likely budding photographers sharing their struggle to move forward in their work and in need of a little creative inspiration and support. Well I totally didn’t get it because that is not what this class is about at all! It’s much more intimate than that. It’s raw and very transforming. I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to get to know and except themselves in a supportive environment with a very nurturing soul (Suzannah)  as a teacher. Simply amazing!!!

News flash…

Do you remember my window peeking squirrel who peeks at me on and off all day. Well just now there were two of them fighting over me on the window sil- I’ve never felt more attractive…..Thanks guys!

Have a great day…. It looks like rain here- I know, I know no Shopping!

xo-jj

May 15, 2009 Posted by | confessions, lovers, me | , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments