Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

No super-girl here…

IMG_0067

(the grand-princess escaping another photo session)

 

I had to do it-tell you about the monster that haunted my dreams last night. It all started around mid-night as I was getting ready for bed. I was standing in the master bath ready to pull on my pj’s when I saw it. The most hideous monster ever sitting in the middle of my bedroom floor!

Well of course I screamed and then jumped up on the tub ledge. I called to Mr. Java (yeah there’s a Mr. Java I’ve kept him secret and just for me- I’m selfish and don’t share very well) to come to my rescue and even though it was after twelve and Mr. Java had been sleeping for a bout 30 minutes or so but he managed to stagger out of bed and throw a shoe at this grotesque thing. He hates to kill anything but he knew that if he didn’t we, or at least I, would be up all night, with the lights on, looking for the beast. He knew this because I pretty much screamed it throughout the bedroom, “you got one shot- so kill it or else we’re gonna be up all night or at least until he’s dead!”

Yeah, I was quite the authority figure cowering naked on the edge of the tub. No super-girl here! Well, he threw his big shoe and thank god he used to be a baseball player because he hit the bulls eye and yes the wicked wench was dead. You should have seen the thing, so hideous I’m not sure I can describe it. The beast was big really big about the size of the palm of my hand and pale or ghostly white. It looked like something that is an albino and only comes out after darkness. It had fangs, now I couldn’t see the fangs from my hiding place in the bathroom but I know they were there ;)  I was going to do the google thing and look for gortesque pictures of this monster but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

What was left under Mr. Java’s big shoe was a squishy, gooie mess. This thing was full of juicy guts , he was probably flesh eating. After the ritual or more like brutal killing Mr. Java walked past me to flush the remains and I swear I saw the Shadow of something else creepy out of the corner of my eye so I jumped on his back. Well, as I said he was a little tired after I woke him, with all the screaming and shouting out orders, so he kind of lost his balance and there we were lying in a naked heap on the floor. Yes, he did manage a few words that I can’t mention here but I don’t think it fazed him much because by now he is quite used to my hysterics and usually just ignores most of my drama. 

I know what you’re thinking, poor Mr. Java, how does he take all the drama of a girl who screams in the night at a spider/beast, then tackles him to the floor because she’s afraid of the darkness and oh yeah, and she sometimes springs out of bed to photograph the twinkling lights in the garden but worst of all, she spends all his money on her latest crazy dream/project. Oh did I mention that I’m not a very good cook, either?  I never said I was perfect. I have my good points- I just can’t think of them right now.

I’ll say it again, “no super-girl here.”

Sorry for the run-on and very incorrect sentenses but I just love the fact that there are no rules here and I can say it however I want to. I think Katharine Hepburn said it best with this quote: “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.”
– Katharine Hepburn

I love that!
xo-jj

May 28, 2009 - Posted by | confessions, lovers, me, rants | , , , , , , , ,

9 Comments »

  1. HA! What a delightful post! First the baby running away took me back to when my Baby Doll was three and we went to the water park, and in the baby section they had crazy sprinklers spraying everywhere, and Dilly Dolly ran in mindless JOY through them. Eighteen years later, I can still see that moment in my mind. I enjoyed the story of the Beast…loved meeting Mr. Java! Love that you are not a good cook…I am, but I don’t cook much! We eat lots of salads. Lastly, I loved the run-on sentences! They show so much more personality. Java June, I enjoy you greatly! **blows kisses** Deborah

    Comment by Deborah | May 28, 2009

  2. He played ball? Professionally or back in school? Huge baseball fan here.

    You didn’t any different than most girls I know. LOL!

    Many of these spiders are actually harmless but unless your an expert how do you tell? there are some that do bite and can cause all sorts of issues. I once had a huge one making it’s home in my shoe. That was fun.

    Comment by Ricardo | May 28, 2009

  3. Ha, ha, ha. I shouldn’t do this, but I just can’t keep it for myself (I will pretend that I’m whispering to your ear then). My husband is the one jumping high and screaming loud when he sees a spider, and then… I come to rescue him, he, he, he😉 I’m glad because finally I managed to visit your blog!!! (from unravelling)

    Comment by Sylvia | May 28, 2009

  4. Deborah, your little one in the park sounds so sweet. Glad you liked my run on sentences now that is something I’m very good at!

    Ricardo,
    He didn’t make it to the professional level-bad shoulder. I don’t care how harmless spiders are they are just plain creepy! I would have died if a spider made a home in my shoe.

    Sylvia,
    That is too funny, I would love to see you rescue your hubby from a spider.

    thanks all!
    xo-jj

    Comment by javajune | May 28, 2009

  5. And the thing is, the spider kind of acted like “what are you doing here?” Like I crashed the party.

    Comment by Ricardo | May 28, 2009

  6. jj–love this post!! and i just have to tell you, the “garden girl” picture on flickr is gorgeous! “soft & lovely” is good too, but your garden girl is a sweetheart!!

    Comment by libby | May 28, 2009

  7. Ricardo, sounds like a nightmare to me.

    Libby, thanks you’re so sweet- she is a cutie.

    xo-jj

    Comment by javajune | May 29, 2009

  8. I love the visual I got from this one!!! I can just see it now – and don’t short-change yourself, Mr. Java loves every minute of your antics whether he will admit it or not. 🙂

    Comment by Cin | May 29, 2009

  9. this is the funniest story. Thanks for the laughs.

    Comment by Amber | June 1, 2009


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: