Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Letting go; A mother’s journey

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I’ve returned home with mixed emotions dancing around in my head but my heart is filled with joy. Joy for the moments and people in my life, joy for the opportunities and beauty the universe has to offer and joy in this very moment here with you.  It’s important to get lost in the moments and let go of some of the self-control that runs our lives. That grip can squeeze every once of goodness out of the present time. Some times it’s important to slow down and  just breathe, cloud gaze, dig in the dirt, feel gratitude and cultivate that inner smile.

I’m lingering an inner smile that feels a bit like the slippery moments that are enjoyed during the in-between state of consciousness.  My mind is wandering, reflecting, but mostly enjoying the tiny joyful moments of my life that are strung closely together.

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My trip was filled with moments, of feeling lost without care, discovery of new places and people, taking in the sights of a beautiful landscape and the feeling of letting go. Opening up and letting go can be painful but it can also be a beautiful thing. We wandered the city of Portland without any concept of time and experienced a culture that was new and somewhat unusual.

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 I met up with my wonderful on-line friend, Lucinda, and she took me sight seeing along the gorge. Thank you Lucinda, you’re a beautiful person! The next morning  my son and I journeyed westward through miles of forests until we reached the ocean shore. We then drove across the beach with sea-spray in our hair and a laugh in our hearts. It was a beautiful moment of madness and freedom as I began to let go. My control flowed out the window and tumbled across the beach until it met with the sea. Who knows where it went from there.

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Our wandering took us to the mountains and back. It was a series of beautiful moments of self- discovery and sharing. Good-byes are never easy but quite often necessary. Infinite love is something a mother fully understands. The landscape was only a symbol for what we were about to experience as mother and child. The act of letting go of someone you love, so that he can soar, is like climbing a mountain. There are moments of pain and difficulty that must be endured. My difficulty was answered back with a veiw that was more beautiful and liberating than anything thus far. The sight of my child spreading his wings with the courage to leave the nest is one of those joyful moments.

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 “Something good will come of this.”  I told myself as I boarded the plane alone. I felt my body lighten as I opened up to the moment and all the infinite possibilities that life has to offer and then I was truly free, just like the clouds outside my window.

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Someone once said, “The key elements of life are time and people.”

Let go and just breathe, Junie, just breathe!

xo-jj

August 18, 2009 Posted by | confessions, me, photography, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments