Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Another day, another mis-adventure

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I started out so determined to get a few pictures in my camera before the sunset. I decided to go to a place that I don’t usually shoot. So I got in my car and drove about 25 miles away to a public garden. The whole way something was nagging at me but I ignored my inner voice of reason and drove on. When  I arrived at the park I couldn’t wait to start capturing the evening light. The light was just gorgeous and the park was at the peek of it’s spring bloom.

Creamy whites and yummy pinks were everywhere!

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 I was in photography heaven except for those nagging thoughts that said, “what would your mother say about you going out alone to a public and very deserted place at dusk? Have you learned nothing over the years? You know bad things happen when you don’t listen to me (yourself)” Yeah it went something like that. I knew it was a bad idea and that nagging voice kept me from getting too involved and probably from capturing the best pictures. I crept around but all the while I kept one eye on the gate and then back to the bushes behind me. I did manage to get some amazing shots but couldn’t totally let go and do my best work with that gnawing fear in my gut.

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The last time I went into a park alone and didn’t listen to my gut I got robbed, not hurt, just robbed but that was enough. Well on this night I didn’t get robbed and nothing bad happened because as soon as I heard the gate swing and saw the shadow of a man entering the garden I was off like a flash.

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I retreated to my locked car where I felt safe and was capable of  a get-away just in case. I hate to be like that and these thoughts make me feel cheated out of the full experience of life. I hate being afraid or a worry wart but what else can a 5′ 1″, 102 pound girl do? Perhaps I could hire a sexy body guard to follow me everywhere. He would have to go where ever I wanted and say nothing like, “are you done yet? or lets go get something to eat.” He would have to go willingly and like it. Here I go thinking of ways to spend money again. Oh BTW as I was heading to the parking lot I noticed that there was someone or some critter watching out for me.

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He was way up in a tree, having an evening snack as he looked down at me. I think all animals are cute even the ones who did holes and make a mess of your yard.

I guess what I really wanted to say with this post is to listen to your inner voice because it’s there for a reason. Be safe and have a wonderful weekend!

xo-jj

May 22, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, rants | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Can you explain unconditional love?

IMG_2625 2She is never hungry, always clean, and never lost, she feels loved always. How can that be? Maybe she’s special like a princess or has some magical guardian angel, maybe she does something really great to deserve such a comfortable life. Maybe… but then perhaps it is something else entirely. Perhaps there is someone who loves her for no special reason at all, perhaps she is a daughter and has a mother with unconditional love. Perhaps that’s true but “why then” she asks, “are there children who go to bed at night with an ache in their empty tummy or a cry that nobody hears?”  

Can we explain the difference between this little girl and the girl who cries alone or feels unloved? Doesn’t every child deserve to be loved?

“Honey we all deserve to be loved!” Says the lady who dreams too much (that’s me).

I want to wish you all a very happy Mother’s Day but I would like to dedicate this post to the children who go without the unconditional love of a Mother. I will be spending the weekend in the woods with family. I’ll see you on Monday when I’ll pass along a very special award that was given to me, stay tuned.

Enjoy this day and every day. You deserve it, we all do!

xo-jj

May 8, 2009 Posted by | family woes, me | , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Dear Lone Ranger

Please welcome Cat to the sofa.

Dear Lone Ranger,

I can feel you by my side, in my heart and all over my mind. I can hear you through the silence and smell you in my sleep. I know you like I know myself but sometimes I forget that we are not one. You have been there for so long attached to my every move, my every thought. I never considered life with or without you. I didn’t have to think of you at all because you were me and I was you. I took advantage of our closeness, our unique and unshakable bound. Sometimes I forgot to notice and just drug you along at my side.  I never doubted your unwavering support or unmistakable love but I didn’t acknowledge it either. Our first kiss left me quivering.

You grew tired of feeling alone, unnoticed and under appreciated. Now I can’t feel you or even smell you but I can see you with another and it’s killing me. We were meant to be together and I can’t function apart from you. If you come back to me I promise that this time I will not only feel you and drag you along side but really see you for all that you have given to my life.  Don’t leave me now that I know who you really are.

with love ,

Cat Woman

Junie: A  beautifully put love letter Cat Woman; I sure hope the Lone Ranger is reading this.

January 23, 2009 Posted by | confessions, lovers | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment