Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Unravelling and the real me

IMG_1704

So, I think I’ve mentioned a few times over the past eight weeks that I’ve embarked on a journey into myself. This journey set sail in an Unravelling  e-course that took a group of people through an exploration of their true selves  by a process of  photo-journaling their life. I jumped in with both feet, so to speak, as the first assignment was of my feet but some where along the way my enthusiasm wained just a bit. I’m not sure how much my perception of myself has changed over the past few weeks but I do think that my acceptance of the real me has improved just a bit.

I started out feeling somewhat strange about taking photographs of myself but got used to the idea as the weeks rolled on.  I soon realized that the pics I liked the most were the softer and maybe a little over exposed shots. I analysed that a bit and then concluded that this is exactly how I prefer to see life. A little soft and fuzzy, no rough edges, a view that allows me to ignore the parts that aren’t so pretty. Since hitting the big four- o, I have struggled with the thought of getting older and the reality that is settling into my face and body. I feel like a young girl trapped in a middle aged woman’s life.

Throughout my entire life I was the girl who wasn’t exceptionally smart-just average and not particularly talented in any one area- just okay at a few things but everyone just referred to me as that pretty girl, many never even knew my my name. I even had a boss tell the computer programming guy not to ask me any technical questions because I was just the pretty girl in the office- that boss was a woman. This used to infuriate me but now I seem to be scrambling to hold on to that pretty girl who is changing into a average woman- I never wanted to be average.  Pretty fades- so, I’m ready to move on to something deeper and more spectaculiar in my life. I want to be remembered for my accomplishments.

secret weapons

We struggle all our lives to be more than what we are and in the end I think we fail to appreciate our true talents or assets. These days it takes a little longer for me to accept the face I see in the mirror and I do have a few secret weapons but the whole beauty thing has gotten a bit expensive. It’s just not the same for men. Are they just naturally better looking or do we just except them the way they are? I think it’s the latter- sorry guys.

the face in the mirror

During the Unravelling e-course I’ve realized I’m not alone in my struggle to accept myself and that many of my classmates have far greater issues than I. It has been interesting to look at an image of a fellow classmate and view them one way until I read their perception of themselves and then this image takes on a whole different light. So I guess what I am saying is that the way you perceive and portray yourself greatly influences the way others see you.  Perhaps this means if I want to look like a  young beautiful woman that is fully capable and talented in many ways, I must first see those things in myself before they’ll become apparent to others. Does that make sense?

Unravelling to the end

I started out as that pretty little girl and then become that average woman I see in the mirror today.

I’m sad to see this class come to an end and don’t know how it will impact my life but I do think that everything we experience in life changes us just a little.

xo-jj

June 24, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, secrets | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Spring, tiny toes and a new attitude

img_3103

 

It’s a morning of beautiful light and spring like temperatures. A day of yard work and fresh air has made this body a little sore but no matter- I have a bottle of Advil handy. There is nothing like a day of fresh air and sunshine to change my attitude which was in serious need of change after a very long winter.

Do you all remember me ranting about wanting to create a romantic garden space of twinkling lights and lush plants that protect a secret spot to cozy up for the night? Well, I don’t think all that’s  going to manifest itself this year but I did manage to get a little cozy cottage  (6’by6′) to place in my garden. When I get the landscaping and decorating done ( yes, I decorate everything) I’ll let you have a peek.

I mentioned in the previous post that I was starting an e-course today.  We are 165 people taking an Unravelling  journey together. I’m both curious and excited to begin the journey and meet new faces.

I hope you get the chance to take a walk outside and wiggle your toes in the grass or dirt.

img_2958-2

 

Yes, I’ve noticed that I have little Pebbles Flintstone feet. I’ve heard that said just a few times.

Enjoy your day!

xo-jj

May 4, 2009 Posted by | me, rants | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

My heart, my mind and a new adventure

6a00d8341c103953ef01156f7300e9970c-800wi1 I’m bubbling with all kinds of things tonight. My weekend was almost perfect. The sun, the garden, a slurpy margarita and a little anticipation toward a new adventure I’m starting tomorrow. Unravelling is a summer e-course where I will be sharing a photo and essay safari with people from 18 different countries. This course is led by an amazing writer and photographer; you can catch up with Suzannah at Ink on my Fingers.

 

 

I can’t wait to start this new week and of course share it all with you. I took some amazing shots in the early light this morning and I thought I’d share one of them with you.

img_3060

This shot was kind of an accident. When I was unloading this Bleeding Heart plant from my car the wind broke off  this twig  that held all the blooms. So I put it in a vase to enjoy indoors. I decided to take advantage of my little mishap and take some pics in the morning sun- it was pure magic…… I just uploaded the thirty or so shots I took and haven’t picked a favorite yet. This one looked pretty promising so I thought I’d share my bleeding heart with you.

I’m exhausted from playing outdoors so it’s off to bed for me. See you all on Monday.

xo-jj

May 3, 2009 Posted by | me, Uncategorized | , , , , , , | 6 Comments