Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Recalculating

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I told you it was beginning to look and feel like fall in my neck of the woods. See the mist that hangs in the air. This was taken last evening shortly before sunset. It’s brisk out this morning and requires a jacket. brrrrrr

You know that little voice that speaks up and changes the flow of your journey in mid-stream? No I’m not talking about the lady in your GPS system; I’m talking about that inner voice that says “hey your going the wrong way.” Do you know her? I have one of those but the trouble with my guide is that she frequently says “recalculating” but doesn’t explain where I’m supposed to be going or how I am to get there.

I’m on this creative journey and there are so many things I wanna do (like make a photo journal) and places I wanna go (like somewhere on the other side of the ocean) but there never seems to be enough time or money for any of it. I envision my life as this infinite thing with time and space for everything but I am a realist and know the reality of that dream. One of my goals is to live to be 100, so I can experience all the changes in society and yes, so I will have time to do everything imaginable. Life should be simple and one’s heart should be content with simple things but I’m just not that kind of girl.

My mind wanders, my curiosity leaps, as my heart yearns for more. What makes us simple or complicated and how can some be so content in the place they are standing, no matter how dull or insignificant it may seem? Perhaps their system isn’t equipped with that annoying little GPS-like voice that says “recalculating” every time they take a wrong turn or deviate from the path.

My map is complicated and the roads don’t have names. There are so many destinations that I haven’t met, but intend to, in time. I’ve walked through fields of flowers and the sidewalks of Times Square, I’ve enjoyed the essence of sea-spray on my cheeks, and climbed mountains in Montana, I’ve swam the Great Lakes and sailed in a boat ten miles across the Atlantic ocean but I know there is so much more just waiting to be discovered. My guide sometimes speaks in a foreign language and I have to do my best to interpret her message. So far this journey has been worth every moment but where is it taking me? Maybe I don’t I need to know that answer. Perhaps I should close my eyes and enjoy the ride, with ups and downs that sometimes mimic the thrill of a roller-coaster? I could raise my arms and scream at every turn. I should ignore the voice that says “recalculating” and press on.

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I’m still trying to tame little Willow (I just don’t know when to give up). We’ve made a connection but she still won’t let me get close enough to touch her. I want to run my fingers through her fluffy coat in the worst way. Isn’t she beautiful?

(If you don’t have a GPS in your car and are totally confused with my post or the comparison I’m making, let me explain. Most GPS systems come with an audible voice that will say something like this,” in 300 yards/meters turn left on route 66″ and if you miss your turn, this voice suddenly interrupts with the word “recalculating.” She then sends you on a detour to regain your place on the intended path.)

Well, not only do I have  that voice as part of the GPS in my car I also have a similar voice that lives in my head and frequently tries to keep me on the right path. The problem is, I don’t know where she’s sending me and I’m not sure why I can’t make a few side trips here and there. Can anyone else relate?

Here’s a youtube video of the system that lives in my car (not my head).

She’s a little annoying, isn’t she?

Well, I’m off to get some editing done and pics listed in my shop. Didn’t I say I was going to do that yesterday?

Recalculating!

xo-jj

August 6, 2009 Posted by | confessions, me, photography | , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Another day, another mis-adventure

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I started out so determined to get a few pictures in my camera before the sunset. I decided to go to a place that I don’t usually shoot. So I got in my car and drove about 25 miles away to a public garden. The whole way something was nagging at me but I ignored my inner voice of reason and drove on. When  I arrived at the park I couldn’t wait to start capturing the evening light. The light was just gorgeous and the park was at the peek of it’s spring bloom.

Creamy whites and yummy pinks were everywhere!

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 I was in photography heaven except for those nagging thoughts that said, “what would your mother say about you going out alone to a public and very deserted place at dusk? Have you learned nothing over the years? You know bad things happen when you don’t listen to me (yourself)” Yeah it went something like that. I knew it was a bad idea and that nagging voice kept me from getting too involved and probably from capturing the best pictures. I crept around but all the while I kept one eye on the gate and then back to the bushes behind me. I did manage to get some amazing shots but couldn’t totally let go and do my best work with that gnawing fear in my gut.

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The last time I went into a park alone and didn’t listen to my gut I got robbed, not hurt, just robbed but that was enough. Well on this night I didn’t get robbed and nothing bad happened because as soon as I heard the gate swing and saw the shadow of a man entering the garden I was off like a flash.

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I retreated to my locked car where I felt safe and was capable of  a get-away just in case. I hate to be like that and these thoughts make me feel cheated out of the full experience of life. I hate being afraid or a worry wart but what else can a 5′ 1″, 102 pound girl do? Perhaps I could hire a sexy body guard to follow me everywhere. He would have to go where ever I wanted and say nothing like, “are you done yet? or lets go get something to eat.” He would have to go willingly and like it. Here I go thinking of ways to spend money again. Oh BTW as I was heading to the parking lot I noticed that there was someone or some critter watching out for me.

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He was way up in a tree, having an evening snack as he looked down at me. I think all animals are cute even the ones who did holes and make a mess of your yard.

I guess what I really wanted to say with this post is to listen to your inner voice because it’s there for a reason. Be safe and have a wonderful weekend!

xo-jj

May 22, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, rants | , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments