Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

A toad is never just a toad

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 A little tree toad (frog) waving his peace sign. He lives on my deck and sometimes sings me to sleep.

As I ready a suit case and line up my clothes in an effort to pack for an up-coming trip, I am once again struck by a bag of mixed emotions and uneasy thoughts. This always happens to me when I am about to take a trip. It’s silly really, all the what if’s get together and form this ugly mass that is menacing and gets in the way of me just letting go and simply enjoying my trip. I love to travel and dream of it every chance I get but for some reason I worry about crazy things like: what if I never get to come back home to the people and things I love, what if something awful happens while I’m gone, what if the dog gets lost, the house burns down, someone dies, my plane crashes and so on  and so forth.  I can’t take everyone and everything with me when I travel, so I take my worries and emmotional baggage instead. Just once I would like to let go and really enjoy the moment, the experience, the culture and my passion to explore without worries. When I close my eyes I see new places to explore, like unfamiliar city streets, trendy shops, I hear street cars, see mountains and smell a hint of sea spray behind my ear. A relaxing trip is just like a good meditation; it leaves you with a clear head and restored body.

Life is complicated and things are never quite as they seem. The way something appears on the surface is deceiving and there is so much more hidden beneath the surface. Taking a trip should be simple, you plan, pack and travel. If only it were just that simple. I’m still very excited about my trip and can’t wait to step foot off the plane in Oregon even though my feelings are complicated. I think worrying is a bad habit that’s hard to break.

It’s okay, this is just a process I go through, nothing to worry about. I’ll paint my dark canvas and then the sun will come out and melt the dark shadows into a haze of warm sparkly bliss. This process always reminds me of a verse from the song “Thick as a Brick” by Jethro Tull.

The Poet and the painter casting shadows on the water —
as the sun plays on the infantry returning from the sea.
The do-er and the thinker: no allowance for the other —
as the failing light illuminates the mercenaries creed.
The home fire burning: the kettle almost boiling —
but the master of the house is far away.
The horses stamping — their warm breath clouding
in the sharp and frosty morning of the day.
And the poet lifts his pen while the soldier sheaths his sword.

And the youngest of the family is moving with authority.
Building castles by the sea, he dares the tardy tide to wash them all aside.

I love that- it paints such a picture for me as I pack up all the needful things that will accompany me on my trip.

Good tune -Enjoy!

 

My words but a whisper….

xo-jj

August 10, 2009 Posted by | me, nasty habits, photography | , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments