Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

New Year, new hope and a funny story

The last few days I have been busy with life but also busy in my thoughts.  I think it’s because we’re standing on the cusp of a New Year, looking back on a year where so much change took place. The following scenario nicely sums up just how this crazy year has been.

I left the house with my phone in my ear and a handful of supplies for the day. As I drove down MLK, I was thinking about all of the things that needed to get done but wouldn’t stand a chance since I was putting in a full day of work and would most likely return home with tired feet and an “I don’t feel like it” attitude.  Just as I was becoming annoyed at the longest stop light in the world, I noticed something that made me laugh and sit a bit after the light had turned green and a few rushed drivers singled me with their horns. The sight to my left was something out of a Jim Carrey movie and it set the tone for the rest of my day. 

Try to imagine for a moment rush hour traffic at a busy corner on a cold December day.  Everyone is in a hurry and not very happy about the idea of venturing out on the slippery roads to put in a full day of work.  A well-built man in a black jogging suit, fluffy white hat,  and white woolen mittens is on the corner with his pit bull. He is performing some sort of routine that kind of resembles an olympic ribbon dance. He has a long white cloth that he’s waving around as he leaps down the sidewalk. When he leaped the dog followed and when he kneeled and pointed to the sky the dog sat and looked around. This was very entertaining but it wasn’t the first time I had seen his little performance. What made this time over the top was the little man in a “We buy Gold” sandwich sign dancing around the ribbon dancer and his dog. He was clicking his fingers and twirling around to a silent beat.  Their routine looked like it had been corrigraphed for a Jim Carrey movie, Jim Carrey of course would be playing the part of the ribbon dancer.  It all seemed very purposeful, neither man acknowledged the other, they were moving together but very much in their own world or bubble. It was beautiful in a strange and really funny way.  This was the perfect opportunity for a video camera and no time restraints.  I had neither.  What a funny scene to jump-start my day but more importantly I realized how people are making the most of whatever hand they’ve been dealt and enjoying it. The unemployment rate in Michigan is about 15% and I’m quite certain the man in the sandwich sign was just happy to have a job. The fact that he had a little fun while doing it made me smile. The ribbon dancer obviously has some sort of mental illness but he seemed to be enjoying life while his dog enjoyed a little creative exercise. Acceptance, the right attitude and working together, it was beautiful.

This scene changed my attitude a bit and made me take a second look at this past year. I think the way the year played out and whether it was good or bad is largely perception. My perception or attitude for that day started out with a grumble but it was quickly changed to a giggle and smile after viewing the corner dance routine. A few moments can change your day or more importantly your mind! Think about this as you ring in the new year.

Imagine for a moment if we all ushered in 2010 with a “make the most of whatever you’ve got” attitude and a smile. It might change the course of a year or at least your perception of it. Is a good life, simply, in the mind of the beholder? Perhaps….

My wish is that each and every one of you, ushers in the New Year with love and tiny bubbles of  hope. Thank you so much for making my year brighter and for making me believe. I feel as though I have gotten to know the most beautiful part of you, the inside. (bubble image snatched from “I love bacteria.com)

Happy New Year…..

Love, love and so much hope to you – jj

December 31, 2009 Posted by | bad boys, me, rants, saga | , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Unravelling and the real me

IMG_1704

So, I think I’ve mentioned a few times over the past eight weeks that I’ve embarked on a journey into myself. This journey set sail in an Unravelling  e-course that took a group of people through an exploration of their true selves  by a process of  photo-journaling their life. I jumped in with both feet, so to speak, as the first assignment was of my feet but some where along the way my enthusiasm wained just a bit. I’m not sure how much my perception of myself has changed over the past few weeks but I do think that my acceptance of the real me has improved just a bit.

I started out feeling somewhat strange about taking photographs of myself but got used to the idea as the weeks rolled on.  I soon realized that the pics I liked the most were the softer and maybe a little over exposed shots. I analysed that a bit and then concluded that this is exactly how I prefer to see life. A little soft and fuzzy, no rough edges, a view that allows me to ignore the parts that aren’t so pretty. Since hitting the big four- o, I have struggled with the thought of getting older and the reality that is settling into my face and body. I feel like a young girl trapped in a middle aged woman’s life.

Throughout my entire life I was the girl who wasn’t exceptionally smart-just average and not particularly talented in any one area- just okay at a few things but everyone just referred to me as that pretty girl, many never even knew my my name. I even had a boss tell the computer programming guy not to ask me any technical questions because I was just the pretty girl in the office- that boss was a woman. This used to infuriate me but now I seem to be scrambling to hold on to that pretty girl who is changing into a average woman- I never wanted to be average.  Pretty fades- so, I’m ready to move on to something deeper and more spectaculiar in my life. I want to be remembered for my accomplishments.

secret weapons

We struggle all our lives to be more than what we are and in the end I think we fail to appreciate our true talents or assets. These days it takes a little longer for me to accept the face I see in the mirror and I do have a few secret weapons but the whole beauty thing has gotten a bit expensive. It’s just not the same for men. Are they just naturally better looking or do we just except them the way they are? I think it’s the latter- sorry guys.

the face in the mirror

During the Unravelling e-course I’ve realized I’m not alone in my struggle to accept myself and that many of my classmates have far greater issues than I. It has been interesting to look at an image of a fellow classmate and view them one way until I read their perception of themselves and then this image takes on a whole different light. So I guess what I am saying is that the way you perceive and portray yourself greatly influences the way others see you.  Perhaps this means if I want to look like a  young beautiful woman that is fully capable and talented in many ways, I must first see those things in myself before they’ll become apparent to others. Does that make sense?

Unravelling to the end

I started out as that pretty little girl and then become that average woman I see in the mirror today.

I’m sad to see this class come to an end and don’t know how it will impact my life but I do think that everything we experience in life changes us just a little.

xo-jj

June 24, 2009 Posted by | me, photography, secrets | , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments