Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Trouble in the Hen House

Please welcome Shirley to the sofa.

My story took place about 40 years ago. I was married with two children. My husband was in the military but had served his time so we moved back home. We bought a little house three doors away from his parents chicken farm. He worked on the family farm while I stayed home with the kids. I knew our marriage wasn’t perfect and had a feeling that he was keeping secrets  but the truth was more than I expected. He started staying out all night and going to work on days that I knew he had off. But times were different back then and you just didn’t confront your husband. A few years past and a couple more children arrived before he left me for good.

I managed to get a job and survived with a little financial help from his parents. I lost so much more than a husband when he left. My so called friends felt the need to confess their indiscretions to me. They told me how sorry they were that  they had fallen pray to his seduction. There was a lot more than counting eggs going on in the hen house. His escapades came to an end when my so called friend Marylou caught him fooling around with a new girl named Sarah and threatened to tell. Thats when Carl rejoined the Navy and ran off to the west coast with Sarah. 

The biggest blow to my world was learning that Marylou, Carla, and Debbie were my friends for the sake of spending time with my husband. They had all fooled around with Carl  in the egg house on numerous occasions. Debbie even claimed that he was her first and that she’d lost her virginity to my husband! I hated them all and couldn’t understand why they insisted on telling me the truth, now. I never stepped foot in the egg house again and when I was financially able, I moved to another town that was far from the bad memories.

That part of my life is over but I desperately want my husband to admit his indiscretions to our children. I don’t know why it’s so important to me but it is.  I would feel vindicated for all the years the kids thought that their big Navy Captain Dad was a hero, only I knew better.  I didn’t want to break their little hearts back then, so I stayed silent.

Junie: You deserve vindication and your kids should know what you did for them.  But this may be a little like your friends confessing that they slept with your husband in the egg house. It will only generate bad feelings and ruin relationships. You were a good Mom and deserve a thank you but I’m not sure if his confession is the best way to get it.

jj

February 23, 2009 Posted by | bad boys, confessions | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Can the Perfect Dinner Save your Love Life?

choc-cake

Chocolate cake is the ultimate food porn.

 I thought I would share a tip for sexy eats that are sure to improve your love life. Zoe from Bigmethod left me an email with a link to an interesting web site called The Lovebite. This site is run by an Aussie chef named Mannix. He promises to teach you the art of seduction through pleasing the palate. For some reason just typing the words “art of seduction” steamed up the windows in my office.  Is it hot in here or is it just me? Sorry back to the food. Mannix has a number of romantic recipes for the perfect date night. His clever tips just might make that special someone fall passionately in love with you or at least keep him/her coming back for more. My fav is the menu for a dirty weekend which includes roasted chicken, brie, avocado, baguettes, antipasti with chocolate and whiskey to finish. A sumptuous recipe for Mango Mischief got me really excited.  I may have to try it.

The Lovebite a clever site with great dating tips and delicious recipes that you just have to try- date or no date. You can peruse his tasty recipes or sign up for the Get Bit news letter. A new date with recipe to match are featured every month. What a great way to add a little romance back into your life without breaking the bank.

Now… go and visit The Lovebite  it may make your night or at least spice things up a bit. Let me know if you try any of his yummy suggestions and if your efforts are met with positive results. Have a delicious weekend 😉

jj

February 20, 2009 Posted by | lovers, me | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Perfect Love/Perfect Lie conclusion

Don’t miss Brie’s conclusion to her family saga.

If you missed the beginning of Brie’s story go here for part two and here to start at the beginning. The paper work was filed and the hearing was set. I thought I could handle the change and had my life under control. That may have been true if Kane’s hadn’t gone too far. The  divorce notice in the paper prompted a startling phone call to my lawyer. The woman on the other end claimed that she too was married and had a child with Kane. Tamera stated that the marriage took place six years ago and that they shared a four year old daughter. This second family lived only thirteen miles from my home. How could that be possible. The day of the divorce hearing not only Tamera attended but a woman named Carly who was seven months pregnant and claimed to be Kane’s fiance, she sat in the court room. It was all so surreal and I wondered how I could have missed so much. The divorce was finalized, I lost my house to foreclosure and Kane was convicted. But not before I helped the woman who married my husaband go to court and put Kane behind bars. I sat in the court room once again but this time I held the hand of a woman who shared my husband’s bed. It was strange but I couldn’t hate her because she had been betrayed just the same as I had. The charges against him were bigamy and embezzlement from the company he worked for. Yes he was convicted and yes he did receive jail time but not the kind that he deserved.

This man was a con-artist that destroyed three families. He was sentenced to weekends in jail and community service. It didn’t seem just for what he had done but it did allow him to continue working and pay child support. My life is better now and my son and daughter are grown. I learned a valuable lesson about looking at the world through rose colored glasses while ignoring what you don’t want to see. I saw what I wanted and believed what helped me sleep at night. I was very naive and I got burned. My children are starting families of their own and I finally found a man that I can trust. Life goes on and hopefully we learn from our mistakes. I know I have.

Junie: Brie, thank you for sharing your tragic story with us. I am so glad that you and your children have moved on to a better life. I can totally relate to the rose colored glasses. I think we are all capable of missing what we don’t want to see and guilty of believing what makes us comfortable. Take care.

jj

February 19, 2009 Posted by | bad boys, family woes, saga | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Perfect Love/Perfect Lie con’t

Brie is back on the sofa to continue her story. (if you missed the beginning click here to catch up)

As I said our love story started out so beautifully. We looked like the perfect family to all who knew us.  But things started to change and I knew something wasn’t right the moment he stopped coming home on time. Kane began working very long hours and started traveling on weekends. I knew it wasn’t right but I think a big part of me didn’t want to know what was really going on. By now we had moved into a big house with a beautifully manicured lawn and all the toys. I covered for Kane when he didn’t make it to the kids soccer games or birthday parties. I told everyone that he was in the middle of an important deal and he had to work around the clock. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I wanted to believe it and I certainly didn’t want to disappoint everyone who thought we had the perfect love. Things went on like this for years. I took care of the kids and cleaned the house while he was always away somewhere making deals or who knows what. I lived in a beautiful house, drove a luxury car and never saw a bill. Many woman would have killed for my life but I was lonely and living what I knew to be a lie. This life was killing me.

One day when my oldest son was in third grade an older student came up to him and said my mom just had a baby and she is your sister. I was thankful that my son was too young to understand or believe such a thing. I told him that she had him confused with someone else and he forgot all about it. Of course Kane denied the alligation when I confronted him. I let it go and continued on with our little charade. There were days when I felt like I was being followed and times when the phone rang but no one spoke.

It wasn’t until an orange eviction sticker appeared on my front door that I began to think I could no longer hide from the truth. Kane said not to worry it must be a mistake and he would take care of everything. Once again I gave in to his confidence and went on with my life. It took my car being repossessed and a Christmas alone before I convinced myself that he was having an affair and didn’t care about us.

I went to a lawyer after the holidays were over and filed for divorce. I had the locks changed and threw his belonging out on the lawn. I told myself that I was strong and that my family deserved better. I found a job and let my lawyer take care of the rest. My court date was fast approaching when the notice went in the paper. That notice started a chain of events that my lawyer and I just couldn’t believe. Things like this only happen in the movies and certainly not in my life.

Junie: We will conclude Brie’s family saga later. One can only imagine the ending to this unbelievable story. It’s really good!

jj

February 18, 2009 Posted by | bad boys, family woes, saga | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

My Perfect Love became the Perfect Lie

Please welcome Brie to the sofa.

It all started during spring break of 1989. I traveled to the beach with 3 of my best girlfriends for a little fun in the sun. That was the trip that changed my life and left me with the following  story. 

Kane was drop dead gorgeous with dark wavy hair and a perfect body. He had muscles in all the right places, buns of steel, and a healthy tan. I got to see those tan lines first hand on the last night of our trip. I’m not sure if I would consider our encounter as love at first sight but it wasn’t long before I was in way too to deep to escape his grip. He was charming and oh so seductive. Kane had impeccable timing and always knew just what to say.  Our steamy affair of sex, sex and more sex, continued through the summer. Then on a crystal clear night in mid September, after a late night stroll on the beach, the fairy tale became real.  We made love in the warm sand with a full moon and endless sky overhead. It felt so surreal as the moonlight bounced off the water and he took my hand in his. He asked me to be his wife and I couldn’t resist. Our life began with modest finances that barely afforded us a darling  little house just outside of town. It was a cozy white bungalo with a quaint little porch and a crimson red door. Oh how I loved that house and my life back then.  We became the perfect family, 2 kids , 1 dog and enough love to see us through anything, or so I thought.  The fairy tale lasted a few more years before our perfect family began to unravel, one strand at a time.

Junie: I decided to break Brie’s saga up into 2 or possibly 3 parts.  It is a long and amazing story that you won’t believe, so brace yourself for the conclusion.

jj

February 17, 2009 Posted by | bad boys, lovers, saga | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I’m Alive and Still Crazy; Now Show Me the Money

Junie has had a rough week and needed a little time on the sofa to recuperate.  ( a little word of advice- stay away from the recalled peanut crap)  These are my delirious rambles while laying back with a cool cloth to my head.

Peanut crap – very bad…  this sofa – too hard…  where is that damn maid – oh yeah she’s having a sick day…   no work – no money…  show me the money! (I said I was delirious didn’t I)

Speaking of money, a while back the Sofa Diary was busting at the seams with controversy over the recent spawn of Gifting Circles. I received numerous emails and comments on the subject. At one point I was told that a contributor’s life was in danger and asked to delete or amend several comments to protect her identity. WHOA!!!   Stop… What?  her life is in danger?  For real???  The contributor said she was being threatened and exposed by one of my readers. Yes it got that HOT! I did some editing and deleting of comments as requested and all was calm for a while. Below is an excerpt from one confession.

“I can’t believe I gave our vacation fund to a group of women who promised me friendship and easy money. I met this stranger in the McDonald’s parking lot and handed her an envelope  with 5k of my families savings inside. I knew very little about her, only that she was a friend of my neighbors and sounded very persuasive on the phone. She said this was totally legal and not a pyramid scheme. Why then, did we have to meet in the Micky D’s parking lot and why did I hand her 5k in cash in an unmarked envelope. I didn’t get a receipt or even her phone number for that matter, she had called me.” Read the rest of her story right  here.

Recently I have recieved more requests for information on these Gifting Circles and decided to replay some posts and comments from the past. If there is anyone who can add their own experiences with this money making venture… please jump into the mix by leaving a comment or confession. Please do not use your real name. I don’t want any more dramatic emails or the need to use the delete button. I have the power! I love that!!!

Here are a few comments that were left by our readers, between several posts about the madness of Gifting Circles. 

“My sister was on here talking about a gifting circle she joined, and her boss helped her join, she has since been let go from her job. The economic times are though, but her boss helped her join my giving her money and now she had to be let go. I’m sure her boss feels terrible. I know she hasnt been back on here due to no internet access. She is from the MI area and has 3 kids who are school aged, now she has no job. Her mother has given her money from all of this but she is only in the beginning stage of this gifting stuff. It’s all very sad, but I thought I would updated on her part since she isnt able to get back on here and tell her story. I’d appreciate no comments to be, as I am just the messanger! My sister was taken into something then her job was in jeapordy over it, it’s very unfortunate. She made it sound better than it was. Please keep your eyes open to people who will take advantage of you.”

“Don’t do it”

“If you didn’t tell your family or any friends… then your not helping anyone and contributing to the circle. You can’t move if people don’t get in under you. That’s the POINT! Your missing the point here, gifting circle’s are not magical money growing circles… they take work. Have you been to meetings? Phone conferences? …. These are things that happen in these “Successful” circles! If everyone is so hush hush then how is this a ‘women helping women’ gifting circle? “
 
 
“Sounds very fishy to me. Is there any wording about what happens if the next round of “friend” cannot be tempted to join? Does that mean you’re out 5K? Sounds like a very risky proposition…”

“I am in the gifting circle. I can guarantee in the state of Michigan this is not illegal. In my gifting circle i have a judge. Along with this judge she has brought three other females who also work for the state to join. Im pretty positive they wouldn’t jeopardize their jobs.  you are allowed to gift $12,000 dollars a year. You are only gifting $5,000 to a single person. No wrong doing their. Its a great opportunity, I strongly suggest joining. It does seem too good to be true but believe me, its all true. You technically don’t have to put the full 5K in you can be sponsored by someone or share with someone where you would put 2,500. I strongly suggest going to a meeting, you cant do anything but benefit from this situation.”

“Totally stupid and  illegal as hell”

“These are not illegal, I am a cop & there is nothing much we as cops can do. Sorry, but thats the truth”

“Hi Everyone, this is an excellent topic and I feel the record should be made clear about the legalities of these so called scams. Around summer time I was researching everything I could about these programs and if they where indeed legal at all. Opon speaking with the IRS about joining and participating in said activities the secretary informs me that there is no illegal activity going on.
I am very glad to see people are doing their home work on the subject as I do daily Q&A blogs and Q&A videos just to get peoples questions answered. I think it’s very important for people to be informed about their financial options. Great topic”
 
 
  For those of you who don’t have a clue about Gifting Circles click this post for a brief description of how they work.

I’ve  been told that it’s an illegal pyramid scheme by some and that it’s not illegal or a pyramid scheme by others. This topic is the most hit-on subjects on my blog and generates a lot of controversial discussion and comments.   Can you believe that this subject tops all the sexy , smutty stuff? That just proves it… money is more powerful than sex 😉  Feel free to throw your 2 cents or 5k in about the matter. The tough economic times and lousy stock market are generating  new money making ideas/schemes. Crazy Times= Crazy people.  There is an allure to meeting in secrecy while exchanging wades of cash. Hell, the thought of easy money is tempting enough.  I have to admit that it is very enticing but mostly just interesting. ( my money will remain stuffed in the mattress) Take a look at a previous post with comments in its entirety here.

Below is an excerpt of my original post  that started the whole frenzy.

“I wasn’t born yesterday, far from it, but why do I feel so tempted to do something so stupid and very illegal? I was approached a few days ago about joining a Woman’s Gifting Circle. The invitation came from an old friend for a girls night of food and sharing. She said it was a gifting club for woman where they get together and talk while exchanging gifts.” Read the rest of this post and comments right here.

Hope you enjoyed this little blast from the past. Remember stay away from the peanuts!   That crap took me on a very, very baaaad trip 😦

jj

February 10, 2009 Posted by | confessions, me, should be illegal | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Diary of a Kept Woman

Please welcome Victoria, Trapped in Paradise, to the sofa.

It all started a few years ago when my girlfriend introduced me to her high flaluttin life. She had beautiful clothes, a first class apartment on the upper east side and was being wined and dined in style several times a week. I wanted to be her- the lifestyle looked like the perfect fit for a lonely girl like me. I had a poor track record with employment and was barely making ends meet. So I meet William and became his mistress. I have to admit that at first it was a fairy tale and I was Cinderella. Everything I ever dreamed of having suddenly became mine. I didn’t work, my job was to stay beautiful and available for Bill. I spent most days shopping,  redecorating my already perfect apartment, reading magazines while waiting for the latest beauty treatment, and having lunch with the girls. At night and sometimes on the weekend Bill and I went out to the most expensive places to eat and met with important clients over drinks. We had sex several times a week and he spent the rest of the time home with his family. In the beginning I loved my life and thought that it was enough for me but I’ve changed my mind.  I think I want kids, a family with the picket fence and a golden retriever. I’m getting older and it’s almost too late but I’m stuck in this lavish lifestyle. The only way out would be to just pick up and leave everything behind. I would be starting over with nothing  and I’m not very good at keeping a job. I have no job skills and WTF would I put on my resume? I guess my life proves that you should always be careful of what you wish for.

Junie: I can see how you could get sucked into that life style very quickly. What a facinating story about living as the other woman. Starting over won’t be easy. Maybe you can find a job and a place to live before you make the break. You got what you wanted once; why can’t you do it again? Good luck in the pursuit of your dreams.

jj

February 9, 2009 Posted by | confessions, lovers, secrets, should be illegal | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Love ’em or Lose ’em

Please welcome Nan to the sofa.

I am a complete user when it comes to relationships. My boyfriend is a really great guy and he treats me like a queen. The sex is too good for words. My problem is that I’m not in love with him. I know he loves me because he has told me so on several occasions and he is now talking about marriage. I should tell him how I feel but I don’t want to lose him. I can’t see myself ever considering marriage with him but I don’t want to be alone either. We have a great time together and he really fits into my life right now. He fits in but he’s not the one. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone that I’m not passionately in love with. It just wouldn’t last. I want to find a guy that makes my heart beat faster and someone I can’t stop thinking about. He’s not it. I want to keep our relationship the way it is until I find the one. This is selfish-yes-but it is my life.

Junie: I understand how you feel but you do need to be honest with him. Did you ever consider that this relationship may be getting in the way of finding Mr. Right?

jj

January 19, 2009 Posted by | confessions, Hello Miss Manners, lovers, secrets | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments