Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

A very ordinary girl now middle-aged woman who thinks extraordinary thoughts in no particuliar order

A very ordinary girl now middle-aged woman who thinks extraordinary thoughts in no particular order. I’m thinking this may become a new feature on my blog. Perhaps I’ll touch on it once a week or twice a month or maybe even every other post. I can’t be pinned down right now or get caught up in the details, I have too much to say. I may start at the beginning, at the end or maybe even in the middle because I do things like that

 I thought my life was going to turn out differently, after all I have a destiny, a mission, a niche, but I haven’t found it just yet.   I know it’s out there, lurking in the shadows just waiting for the right moment to happen.

I couldn’t wait to grow up and find my purpose, that niche, my something but I had to get married to my high school sweet-heart, have kids and purchase my first house before I could pursue my dreams. Those things were too important to let get away and they had to get done before I was too set in my ways to get married, too old to have kids and before I had spent most of my adult life in a rented apartment.

While raising kids I knew that my something was out there but I was too busy, too fulfilled and way too brain-dead to go looking for it. It would have to wait and wait and wait.

How long should one wait? Should I start looking? Actually I think I’ve been looking all along but no niche.   I’ve always thought that when I was ready it would just happen.  All I had to do was wish for it and the answer would become, loud and clear, a flash of light, an epiphany, happiness.

I use to dream of a life in the big city. This life  included my loving family, the perfect house, a little fame and a lot of money. All made possible by my thriving career. I had my whole life ahead of me and plenty of time to achieve everything I’d hoped for. It was going to happen. I could feel it. I just had to get through the next few years of raising my family before it could happen. I raised my family and now when I look back I know that those were the most fulfilling years of my life. Perhaps thats why I put off the dream, my wish.

As the years passed my dreams and wishes got a lot smaller and a little closer to home.

I once wished for a beautiful white cat to fill my house with cozy charm, to make it feel homey and full. I envisioned her sitting in the front window when I arrived home in the evening, waiting for my company.

I wished and a couple of months later he showed up. He was different from what I envisioned, his fur was short with tan patches and he was absent a tail. I welcomed him into my home anyway but he didn’t like the indoors. he preferred the porch to my cozy office.  So now when I arrive home I find him waiting  not on my window sil but waiting all the same. By the way he brought friends-I feed them too.

 I wished for more children and I got a grandchild. Grandchildren are God’s greatest work and I never tire of their company. I’m not your typical grandma. I don’t bake. I can barely cook and I wear jeans with holes in the knees.

A few years ago I wished for more time with my family and something happened at work that made it justified for me to quit. I never looked back because I was sure this was a sign and my special talents were about to emerge. That was two and a half years ago. I’ve tried on a few hats since then but nothing fits. Someone once said, “I think you just don’t like to work” not true. I just want to feel passionate about what I’m doing, be good at it and make a living while doing it. 

Not all my wishes come true. I’ve wished for something I enjoyed, loved, something I was really good at.  It had to be a career where I could make a living while doing it. Something all my own. Nothing happened. I’m afraid it may take a little work on my part to find it, patience and focus, things I’m not very good at. I have the attention span of a three-year old child after she has consumed an entire box of cookies, chocolate chip of course.

I’m not whinning and I’m certainly not ungrateful for all the wonderful things in my life. I’m just wondering if maybe I’m going about this quest for success and completion all wrong. Perhaps…

This is just me thinking out loud  🙂

xo-jj

Advertisements

May 5, 2010 Posted by | family woes, me, nasty habits | , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The dreamy atmosphere says- they get me

I’m the girl who gets lost in the mood, the atmosphere, and the hype. I walk into a store with the right music, the right colors and an atmosphere with that special something and it’s all over for me. I’m buying whatever they’re selling. Sometimes  you walk into a shop and you just know that they get you. I had that experience a few years ago at a local boutique, Octobermoon. I walked in the door and the music playing was from an artist that I love and listen to often, my favorite scent was floating through the air and when I struck up a conversation with the shop owner I could see so much of myself in her. I knew this would be a place I would frequent often.

This is how I feel when I look at a Martha Stewart Living Magazine or my favorite publication Claire Murray, La Vie and just how I feel when I enter the Anthropologie store or flip through their catalog. I’m instantly smitten and feel transported to a place where adventure and extraordinary style meet. Maybe I’m easily swayed or just maybe I’m the kind of girl who feels more than she thinks.

So many franchises rely on sales or lowest every day price and forgo the nice displays or inspiring atmosphere and in today’s market that works. But there are those shoppers who are swept up by the moment or buy into the dreamy lifestyle rather than the price- believe me they’re out there. Working as a sales associate at Pottery Barn has made me more aware than ever that I’m not alone. The temptation driven by a feeling of plush living works its magic on many.

So tell me what calls do you answer to: price, quality, atmosphere, or just pure temptation? Are you aware of that inner voice, buy me….

xo-jj

December 1, 2009 Posted by | confessions, me, photography | , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The sumptuous table

Its time to get down to business, make a plan, a theme, or at least a menu for goodness sakes. I’m looking for that extra something that makes a Thanksgiving dinner special. The wonderful smells coming from the kitchen as the turkey turns to a golden brown are nice and the festive look of a crisp white table-cloth and fresh flowers certainly helps but there’s something else I’m looking for. It’s that feeling of welcomeness, the sound of engaging conversation and oh yes, that intimate connection of family. Every year I scurry around in an attempt to make everything look just right, details, details, and prepare something  a little out of the ordinary to make the dinner extra special. When none of that really matters at all because all of the ingredients needed for the perfect meal over a sumptuous table is already in place the moment the family arrives.

*Not five minutes after posting this I looked out my window and no more than three feet away was a big tom turkey strutting himself across the yard. I guess this was his way of reminding me who is really the star of most Thanksgiving Day tables.

xo-jj

November 19, 2009 Posted by | family woes, Hello Miss Manners, me | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments