Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

My stalker, a travel give away, and the gnome

img_2554This was the scene on my deck yesterday. Today is much better, thank you. He is cute and yes I did feel sorry for him but there is something you should know about this fellow. He is my stalker. He sits on the deck and peeks in my windows. Sometimes he jumps up on the potting table to get a better view of me. He is a little creepy and sometimes even scares the shit out of me. I can sense his eyes watching me and then all of a sudden he jumps against the window, as if he thinks I’m going to open it and welcome him in. Some days I find myself talking to him as a work around the house. Yes I know it sounds a little crazy but I’m just thankful that the neighbors can’t hear or see me.

        I’m slowly getting ready to fly south for a little sun therapy. After this long winter I desperately need it. I think I’ve mentioned this before but I am not a cold weather fan. Give me sun drenched days spent in nothing more then a tank top, a pair of shorts and flip-flops, or better yet bare-feet. The more heat, the less clothes, the better!

Okay so about my trip and travel treasure give away- I will be in search of something unique to the area I’m visiting. It is a small island and there are very few shops. Mostly fine art and other expensive things like that. Sorry I won’t be purchasing a pricey painting or anything close to that for you 😦 I will be hunting for some cool treasures from the sea and who knows what else. To help me in my search of treasure, I have brought in a bit of an expert on travel. Meet Ug the traveling gnome.

 img_2560-2I’m sure you’ve seen his larger cousin on Travelocity. Well apparently the check out lady at Target had not. I noticed her making an odd face as she whizzed him through the scanner. So I tried to explain my intentions for him. Well, I should have just kept quiet because the more I tried to explain the higher her eyebrows got. Now before you get the idea that I am a little crazy,  keep in mind that I’m now a woman, (who BTW is not going to reveal her age), but still a silly girl at heart. I admit that I have age issues. I still think of myself as a young girl until I look in the mirror and see this woman stairing back. That’s when I say, “what the hell, who let her in?”

That’s all for now because I really should finish packing. I have until Friday but time has a way of getting away from me.  Keep your eyes open for that give away post.

Take care… jj

April 7, 2009 Posted by | me, rants | , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Don’t Steal My Thunder

Please welcome Betty Lou to the sofa.

Do you know what its like to an original? I’m sure you don’t. Do have ideas or inspirations of your own? I think I know the answer to that. Get your own life and definitely stay in your own lane. I’m tired of you following my lead, hopping on whatever train I’m riding, trying to top my best game.  I’m not your hero. It’s over I’m calling your bluff, so mind your own life and definitely get your own show. This life is already spoken for.

Junie: Very well put. This should be a song.  Maybe it already is.

jj

January 28, 2009 Posted by | rants, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Stalkers are People Too

Please welcome Shadow Hopper to the sofa.

Stalkers have gotten a bad rap.  We aren’t all psychotic individuals who are in need of medication and capable of murder. I have stalked exboyfriends, exgirlfriends and strangers too.  Sometimes I get a little infatuated with others which leads me to follow them with my car and google everything there is to know about them.  I sometimes keep a journal about their day to day life which may include a picture or two. I think of it as research or homework done about a certain person I envy or have fallen in love with. People are obsessed with all sorts of subjects and things but as soon as they become obsessed with another individual they are considered a stalker.

I am a stalker and I stalk both men and women.  It just depends on who has made an impact on me. I assure you that I’m not dangerous and I don’t need heavy medication. I have never hurt anyone and I’ve only been caught once. You probably wouldn’t even notice  if I were stalking you.

Junie: You have certainly painted an alternate picture of a stalker but I have to say that I still find stalkers to be a little creepy-Sorry for my honesty.

jj

January 18, 2009 Posted by | confessions, secrets, should be illegal | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Why I Stalk My Boyfriend

Please welcome Lucy to the sofa

This is a confession from a female stalker. I stalk my current boyfriend, Why you ask?  Because he is not very open or honest and I think he might be cheating on me. He comes home late a lot without an explanation.  I found a strange phone number in his coat and when I called it, a girl answered. I have started following him in my car after work and he stops off at a local bar quite often.  He has never mentioned this bar to me before, so I am suspicious. I need to come up with a good disguise that will allow me to go in and keep my eye on him.

He is a very sweet guy and treats me well but I may not be the only one he is sweet on. What do you think?

Junie: You might be right Lucy, but maybe you can find a way to confront him, without being accusatory. Good luck with your relationship. Do my readers have any good advice for Lucy?

jj

December 10, 2008 Posted by | bad boys, confessions, secrets | , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Confessions of a Ex-girlfriend Turned Stalker

boyfriend stalkerPlease welcome Amy to the sofa.

I hate to admit it but I have been stalking my ex. It happens late at night when I can’t sleep. Or on the days when I feel so alone. I drive by his house, call his new girlfriend and hang up, or leave messages on his Myspace. Sometimes I park across the street from his girlfriend’s place hoping to catch a glimpse of them thru the window. Recently I hit a new low and started peeking in her windows. I still fantasize about him and have been thinking of showing up at his door around 2:00 am in nothing but my black leather coat and tall lace-up boots. I can’t help myself.  He was the best sex I ever had and my first true love. I want him back.

Javajune: Sounds like you got it bad girl. My advice is put your leather coat and the sexy boots to better use and just move on.

jj

December 7, 2008 Posted by | confessions, nasty habits, should be illegal | , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments