Javajune's Blog

Someone once said… “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”

Orchid dreams and a girl I once knew

Did I tell you how much I love creamy white flowers- so elegant . It’s orchid time of year again and I can’t get enough of this gorgeous flower. I always look forward to January for this reason. These lovely blooms made the perfect addition to my silver vases from Pottery Barn. They’re so exotic, they inspire dreams of adventurous travel and spawn memories of a girl I once knew.

When I was about five years old I was caught sneaking into the neighbors barn. I went there to look through some old trunks tucked into the loft. I couldn’t control my curiosity. I thirsted for the unknown, for adventure and treasures to behold. I imagined a trunk filled with old hats worn by ladies of importance and fur coats so soft to the touch. There would no doubt be a box of pictures from years ago when times was hard and each face reflected the seriousness that life entailed. The best part would have been a jewelry box filled with sparkling brooches the size of my fist and shiny earrings that dangled just so. 

I’m still that little girl today, but a lot wiser and with a little more self-control. Sometimes I yearn to be the little girl who didn’t care about the dirty dishes, didn’t worry about what might happen tomorrow and never feared the unknown. She lived every day with high hopes and open eyes, she knew that there was something much bigger and better meant for her. This girl didn’t worry about the small stuff and never questioned how she would get to the next destination. She didn’t need much, just the sky, the birds, her dreams, and a backpack. The world was bound to open up, sometime soon and swallow her whole.

Perhaps she had read Alice in Wonderland one too many times or maybe she had a little too much belief in the golden ticket from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Her expectations were very much like both stories: a fall down the rabbit hole which opened up a new and very strange world full of adventure and unusual happenings but there was always hope, because she was special and held the golden ticket which meant that all her dreams were bound to come true.

Sometimes I struggle to find that little girl who dreamt of beautiful things and never worried, the silly heart who knew so little. I think she’s hiding from a grown-up world but then sometimes when the night sky is full of stars or in the daytime when the sky is just the perfect shade of blue, she’s there, just as free as ever.

I’m not sure what she would say if she could see me now.  Would she believe that her dreams came true? She’s had a good life with many adventures. Besides, I’m not so sure she would have survived a plunge down the rabbit hole or the impact of smashing through the Chocolate factory’s ceiling in a glass elevator. She’s much too fragile for that.

She’s still curious and wonders all the time but it’s okay because there’s still time and many adventures ahead…

xo-jj

January 18, 2010 Posted by | confessions, me, photography, secrets, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 7 Comments