Happy New Year and Banned Words

 Party-on Garth, Bill, Susan or whoever you are.

 Let me just start by saying this has been quite a year. The good, the really really bad, and the phenomenal we have seen it all. Before you go out and party 2008 away there are a few things you should know about the up-coming year.  Don’t get caught using one or more banned words. Yes it’s true every year Lake Superior State College bans several over-used words. Javajune has some banned words of her own but that’s okay I just edit your confessions when necessary.

Here is the list: green, carbon footprint, maverick, first dude, bail-out, wall street man, iconic, game changer, not so much, it’s that time of year again.

It seems that Twittering is out (oops just started) and slow blogging is in. Grandpa sweaters and boyfriend jeans are in (please don’t bring back the 80’s)  Easy TV shows like the Mentalist (love it) are in.

1. Now on to a few resolutions for 2009 (I always break them in the first week) 1.Keep you posted with all of the secret confessions flooding my email.   2. Finish my manuscript before March   3. Firm up everything   4. Make a decision and finalize reservations for my annual beach trip  5. Organize, organize, organize.   6. Get off Santa’s naughty list and reap the benefits next Christmas (just kidding, I’m really not that self-absorbed) 😉                        That’s all folks (is that phraze on the banned list? should be)

Happy New Year… Now go ring 2009  in with style.

jj

Do You Twitter?

 I have officially joined the ranks of Twitter people. Why you ask. It is a fast and easy way to chat to one or all contacts without the fuss of email or unnecessary posts.

Join the fun or just follow me on Twitter by using the link in the bottom right of this blog.  See you there. TWEET ME!

jj

Do You Remember our Secret?

Please welcome Bali-Girl  to the sofa.

Do you remember last New Year’s Eve-I will never forget. I have kept our secret all year and you were afraid that I would let it slip.  I think of you often but especially now. The memory of our night together is cutting me deep. I can’t get away from the thoughts of you in perfect form as we opened the New Year. I thought that just maybe I was getting over you-I’m not.  I know that we could never be- you have an image to keep.  Still, I wish for just one more magical night of passion and  feelings that can’t be explained. You chose a path that keeps you in the spotlight, never far from the public eye-I did not.  I know that I am so beneath you and if I were to let our secret slip, it would destroy everything you have worked so hard to achieve.  I understand why you cannot be with me, but do you understand why I dream of letting our secret slip inadvertently, just to see what happens. My hope is that you would forgive my indiscretion and sweep me off my feet, then tell me that you can’t live without me as we disappear into a new life together. I dream of you, especially today- my heart is with you, always. Signed your Bali girl.

Junie: So beautiful and yet so sad. I hope your secret lover reads this.

jj

The Skeletons in My Closet are Rattling

Please welcome Celeste to the sofa.

I’m not sure how much longer I can keep my past a secret. I’m engaged to a wonderful man and our relationship is almost perfect. My boyfriend is wonderful and I know he loves me, but I’m not sure how he would feel if he knew what was lurking in my past. The past  isn’t pretty but I have really changed; I’m not that girl anymore. I don’t use drugs, date ex-cons, write bad checks, dabble in prostitution. My life was pretty low at one time.  My sinful acts were committed out of desperation with a bad ex-boyfriend leading the way. I would have done anything for him and I almost did. Things have changed in a big way for me since I fell in love with a good man. I attend church on a regular basis, hold down a good job, and obey the law.

My wedding is this summer and we plan to have children right away. I want to begin our marriage with honesty but I am so afraid that the truth will be a deal breaker.  He deserves to know the truth, but I’m not sure if the horror of my past is really that important to our furture? He loves who I am today. Is it so important that he know who I was before we met? I forgot to mention that I do have a record for passing bad checks and I’m quite sure it’ll surface one of these days. I just can’t decided how much, if anything, to tell him about my past. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and I don’t want to lose him. What would you do?

Junie: It’s hard to judge just how much you should reveal without knowing your boyfriend. Your legal record will affect your marriage when it comes to credit and could surface at any time. A confession about the arrest may be a good place to start and then gage how much more he can handle from there. Good luck my dear.

jj

JavaJune is done Elfing Around

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I thoroughly enjoyed my time off ,but I’m now ready to get back at it. Before I get too busy with the Sofa Diary, I have to pass on a holiday tip to all you in blog land. If you haven’t seen the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” go see it. It is absolutely stunning. The story is beautiful and the way it was put together- perfect. I loved it and not just because I have a thing for Brad Pitt. Oh shit, I’m drooling again. Anyway it’s really worth the time. I’m so glad I squeezed  it in with all my travels and holiday parties.

Okay now let’s get back to all those secret confessions that have been piling up in my absence. Are you ready? I know you are. Stay tuned as I sort through and edit the next patch for your enquiring minds to read.

jj

Happy Holidays to all my Sofa Diary Readers and Contributors

Please welcome Junie to the sofa. 

I would like to wish the readers  of the Sofa Diary and the brave souls who contribute to it’s pages, a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah or whatever else you celebrate this time of year.

Java June will be taking a few days to enjoy the Holiday with Mr. Claus and his elves. Make yourself at home and feel free to flip through the pages of my diary, leave me your confessions or just talk amongst yourselves. This time of the year is a blessing for some and a mixed bag for many others. I truly hope that all of you who spend time with me on the sofa or visit me between the pages of my diary, find at least one blessing to make your Holiday special.  I appreciate your company and comments. Thank you for being a part of  Java June’s blog.

On behalf of Java June (Junie),  the Velvet Lady (my sofa), and the Sofa Diary (my book of your secrets)  I wish you Happy Holidays.

jj

Shoplifting Queen

Please welcome Freebird to the sofa,

I don’t know when the stealing started but now I can’t stop. It is an incredible high for me to plot and plan and then actually pull it off. I wear loose clothing and slip small things into a girdle-like undergarment. It is pretty easy to get away with. I’ve had one close call, but I knew they were onto me, so I dumped everything when I was out of  view; when they searched me I was clean. This bad habit has become much worse lately. I feel as though I can justify my actions because of the economy crisis. I know it’s morally wrong and illegal, but guess who doesn’t have any credit card debt when the Holiday’s are over? Don’t lecture me it won’t help; I will just tune it out. I wish I felt remorse for my actions- sorry I don’t.

Junie: Okay I won’t lecture but you have to promise not to whine when you find your freebird booty not so free anymore. Jail-time is very likely in your future. Freebird could become a Jailbird-sorry I’m just saying……

jj

Please Don’t call Me a Stalker

Please welcome Nancy to the sofa.

I am obsessed with my neighbors but I wouldn’t consider myself  a stalker just because I like to look into a stranger’s apartment with my telescope. It started out very innocently. I was just looking out at the city, when I noticed that I had a perfect view of the main living area  of a neighboring apartment. Now I can’t quit gawking at them. The guy is so gorgeous and they live such a fun filled romantic life. My life is  unbearably boring but now I can live through the lives of my cool neighbors. They throw great parties a few times a week and I can grab a glass of wine and feel like I am one of the guests. Sad, I know but it helps me pass the time in my ridiculously boring life. I know it is an invasion of their privacy but I’m not so sure they would mind if they knew how much I enjoy being a part of their lives.

Junie: Wow, I have to say, I think it would make me very uncomfortable to know that my neighbor was gawking at me with a telescope. I know you don’t mean any harm but I’m just saying…….kinda creepy!

jj

Grandma’s Dead; Who Spiked the Punch?

Please welcome Rachael to the sofa.

The holidays always remind me of a few years back when I hosted the family Christmas. I put so much work and detail into the party right down to the punch recipe. It was delicious but deadly. I forgot to mention that it was spiked heavily.  Before I knew it, Grandma Bea was smashed. I’d seen her tipping back a couple glasses of punch, but thought oh well a little happy juice won’t kill her. Boy was I wrong. She fell and broke her hip and was never the same after that. Only my brother and I knew that she was drunk. Most of the family was drinking beer or wine and didn’t even know the punch was spiked. My brother agreed to keep quiet about the fact that grandma’s little mishap was all my fault. She died several months later.  I feel terribly guilty about the fact that I was responsible for her death and never owned up to it. This is me singing the holiday blues.

Junie: That’s a sad Holiday story and probably one we could all learn from. I don’t think your confession would make her death any less painful for anyone. I hope you can let go of some guilt, concentrate on the good memories and enjoy the season.

jj

My Lies Could Get Me Canned

Please welcome Tom to the sofa.

I am in way over my head. I lied on my resume just to get the job and it worked. I said that I had experience in certain computer programs that I do not. I claimed to have a master’s degree but I never even graduated from college. I claimed to have balanced an office budget, calculated payroll and the list goes on and on. My lies are starting to catch up to me. I have been asked to fill in for a department head while she is on maternity leave and I have no f-ing idea what I’m doing.

I needed the job, so I thought it would be okay to embellish my resume just a little. Well, my just a little ended up to be a lot but it did get me the job. Now my competence is being called into question and I look plain stupid. There is no way that I can just tell the truth because I will lose my job  (my house, my family) for sure.  I’m drowning because I can’t swim. Somebody please throw me a life raft!

Junie: You have found yourself up a creek without a paddle. I think many people do what you did but never get called on it. Times are tough out there keep doggie paddling and maybe you’ll make it out of the pool. (Sorry for the word play- I couldn’t resist)

jj